I have two right now, and they're quite the opposite of each other, so they're both the most difficult thing I have yet to deal with in my lifetime. And one of them, the pain isn't quite over yet, so I'll save it for last.
Losing a loved one is at the top of my list. Most everyone has lost a family member at some point in their lives. I've been lucky to have a fairly healthy extended family. However, my personal pain stems from losing my fiancee, Josh, back in 2005. Most of my old-time readers surely had already guessed this, its been mentioned in my blog numerous times before, and I hate rehashing old memories, so I'll keep this brief. I was 20 years old, and only 2 months shy of my 21st birthday. Josh was 28. He suffered from a heart attack and passed away March 8th, 2005. The pain I felt was insurmountable. I had to move out of my apartment, which I'd only been living in for 2 years, and move back in with my parents. I'd also lost my menial cashiering job at the same time, which was actually a blessing because I was in no condition to go to work for a long while. I fell into a depression for about 6 months. I couldn't cope with his loss. Josh was my soul mate. I missed him more than I ever thought I could miss anyone. He was my first and only love. It was extremely difficult to move on. Everything reminded me of him. I, even now, still have a number of cherished items that I keep around; including his Casio keyboard, which I still occasionally play on.
I had a horrible realization after facing something like this, which was: Time does not heal all wounds. You will always have this wound. The pain just becomes duller over time and you learn to deal with it.
This pic doesn't have anything to do with anything,
just a pic I took & wanted to show because it's pretty.
Sometimes, I guess, you just have to make a blind leap and hope the ground isn't too far away.