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Wednesday, April 30, 2014

The Ten Best Reasons to Live Alone

I am trying to convince myself that it’s a good thing! Here we go!

       1.     I can cook whatever I want, when I want, however I want.
Oh wait, I think I need money for that.

       2.    I only have to clean up after myself!
No one can clean up after me. Darn.

 3.     I can decorate my place however I want.
…I was already doing that before.

This isn’t working. Be more creative!

4.    No one to hog the computer or the TV
Yeah, that’s better.

      5.     I get the huge bed all to myself!
It’s a very big bed.

      6.    Someone needs to come over and kill spiders for me.

      Wait, that’s not how this works.

      7.    I can talk to myself in peace!

       8.   I can invite people over and party whenever I want and play my music as loud – no wait, I live in an apartment. But I can still PAR-TAY.
If I had more friends.

Okay, I’m sounding pretty pathetic. But I’m not. I’m a fierce, independent woman! Hear me ROAR.

      9.    I can write in pure silence.
Okay, now we’re talkin’.

10.   I need a cat.

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Thirty isn't old... right?

I’m going to make some people feel very old, and subsequently make others feel very young. I apologize in advance (not really!) Since I’m just about to turn 30, I’ve decided to give a short summary of my life – in bullet form!

1.  Born April 1984 in Delta, Utah. It was sunny and snowing at the same time. I was also the only one being born in the hospital that day.
The Apple Macintosh was invented in this year, and so was the CD-ROM.

2.   Moved to Port Orchard in 1993-94, and found my first best friend. We are still friends to this day.
The Java programming language was first released that year, and Kurt Cobain commits suicide.

3.   Discovered chatrooms online in 2000-2001. They would subsequently change my life forever.

4.   Got my first job at Kmart when I turned 18 in 2002, moved out of my parent’s house, and in with my online boyfriend, Josh, who had moved up here from Texas to be with me.
We had satellite TV, no cell phones, and a landline that gave us 56k internet for $10/month with a service provider.

5.   In 2004, I become a fiancĂ©e for the first time. No wedding dates are set.

6.   In March of 2005, Josh dies from a heart attack. I get fired from my cashiering job at the same time, and am forced to move back home. I attend short vocational schooling which allows me to temp in the healthcare industry.

7.   I move back out in March of 2006, and 3 months later I meet Justin. 
Those 3 months are the only time I’ve ever lived alone.

8.   Wedding bells ring in May of 2009. I had just lost my job two months prior, and was on unemployment for almost 9 months thanks to the recession.  In December, I get hired on for Franciscan Medical Group with the job I still hold to this day.

9.   In January of 2013 I separate from Justin and move back home once again. In June, the divorce is final.

10.   April 19th, 2014 I am finally moved out and on my own once more. (Reached my goal to be out before 30! Woot!)

11.   April 27th, 2014 I turn 30.

That’s a lot of sh*t to go through before I’m 30. Wow. It’d still make a pretty lame autobiography though. What about you? If an autobiography was written about your life, would people read it?

Friday, April 18, 2014

The Mail Demon

I was *this* close to making heads roll the other day. I had recently started a subscribe and save on Amazon for the Olay microderm stuff for their face brush thingie. (you'd think, being a woman, I'd be more up with the terms but turns out, no.) I get push notifications on my phone when things get delivered, and at about 4pm on delivery day, I got my text:

Your package is undeliverable as addressed. Please contact the carrier to resolve the issue.


So now I was scrambling. I get on Amazon and find that it was delivered via FedEx SmartPost (not so smart) and they list numbers so I called them. Turns out that even though it's delivered by "FedEx" they like, hand it over to USPS. OK whatever. I call the number for USPS which I think is their national number or something... it's 4:30, I'm clocked off of work, I'm annoyed as frack, and I just want to go home; and I'm sitting on hold. So, with my multi-tasking skills, I find my local post office, and using my cellphone I call them - while I'm still on hold with the national company. 

Here's the most lame, annoying rule I've ever heard: Once it's determined undeliverable it gets sent back to the shipper. Period. There's nothing they can do. No holding it for pick up, no trying again the next day. Nothing. I'm out of luck.

At this point, I'm fuming. I don't yell at the dude on the phone even though he was a little aloof with me (a "sorry ma'am" would have been nice). I get back on Amazon and read about their policy. Once they get the item back, a refund will be issued, but it could take 2-4 weeks. Luckily this thing wasn't hundreds of dollars! They tell me I need to order it again, so I try to do just that: except the price had gone up by almost $5. I email Amazon although it's hard to be polite even though it's not their fault at all. I just ask if I can get a price reduction and re-order at the same price as I had before.

Then I went home.

At this point I'm still living with my parents so I ask them if they got their mail. They had. Now I'm even more angry. It's the same damn address! I mean, what the actual f*ck?! (Sorry for the French). I was determined to call USPS tomorrow and scream at them. There was no logical reason why my parents would get their mail yet my item was "Undeliverable".

Then I checked my email, and I'd already gotten a response from Amazon. As I read the email I'd felt as though I was lava being drenched in cold water. They made it right. They gave me my refund, asked me to order again and they would refund the difference in price. They even offered to ship it one-day for free. 


At that point, I was so calm and satisfied that I never even bothered to call USPS. The only thing I can figure is because I was moving soon, I'd already put in a request for a change of address; however the change wasn't supposed to have taken effect until the 19th of April. Maybe there had been some confusion there, who knows. But I'm so happy that Amazon made it right. 

Have you ever had this happen to you? What did you do about it?