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Sunday, May 27, 2012

Nostalgia, Volume II

Okay, I'm finally up for my blast into the past. I know, I'm only 28. But honestly, I feel like the 90's were so long ago that it's already making me a little depressed.
Even though I was born in 1984, it's not like I remember anything about the 80's. I mean, hell, I was barely in kindergarten yet, so that doesn't count. Well start with my favorite TV shows of the 90's. (This came about with a blog post by, one of my favorite sites on the internet today. That and ) and this was the post that started my whole nostalgia kick:
I read though it, and I was like "OMG I used to love these shows!"

The Wild Thornberrys (reminded me of Dr. Dolittle - the original with Rex Harrison. Screw Eddie Murphy)
I sometimes watched Keenan and Kel, and one line has stuck with me forevermore: "Who loves orange soda?" "Kel loves orange soda!"
The Secret World of Alex Mack (so kick ass)
Salute Your Shorts
Land of the Lost (90's version)
Clarissa Explains it All (EPIC!)
Sabrina the Teenage Witch
Are You Afraid of the Dark
The Magic School Bus!
The Simpsons, of course. But hell, they're still on!
Star Trek: The Next Generation (I know it played in the 80's too, but I didn't discover it until the reruns in the 90's. Besides, it ended in '94.)
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Star Trek: Voyager

A couple of 90's toys/items were included in the line up too. I never had an easy bake oven (or microwave) but I did have a giga pet.

Yeah, that was fun for about two days. The problem with it was that the dog always wanted food in the middle of the night, and fuck it if I was going to wake up and pretend to feed it! I stuck it in a drawer and forgot about it, since you can't turn it off. I was going to wait for the batteries to die. In the meantime, it kept chirping because the dog was hungry. Finally, the dog died, and it showed a digital pic of him with angel wings for a like, a good week or more before the batteries finally died. Ugh.
Oregon Trail. Wow, I loved that game as a kid. It was actually fairly easy to make it with all your crew in tact. One of the few games I was able to beat, since I wasn't really that into playing my Nintendo (or Sega). My Sega games included Sonic 2 and 3, the Knuckles expansion, and like, Primal Rage lol I don't even know what else I had. Not much.
And yes, Fruitstripe gum was a major disappointment.

Here's where the feeling of being old stems from: It's time to talk about movies.

Jurassic Park (1993) Still in my top 5 to this day.
Hook (1991)
Independence Day (1996)
Twister (1996) One of my absolute favorites.

Now, I'm not just naming off any movies, or popular movies. These ones I fell in love with when they came out. Which is why I'm not listing classics like City Slickers, Toy Story, or Contact (I didn't watch that movie for the first time until just last month)

Star Trek: First Contact (1996) Hell yes.
Star Trek: Generations (1994) This movie was just mostly okay. But it was Star Trek, so there lol
Star Trek: Insurrection (1998) Not a crowd favorite, but one of mine!
Patch Adams (1998)
Jumanji (1995)
Jack (1996) I'm seeing a Robin Williams theme, here lol
Hocus Pocus (1993)
Free Willy (1993)
A Goofy Movie (1995) The music was just some of the best I'd ever heard.
Gozilla (1998) Because I had a thing for the old Godzilla movies. This is the only movie I ever saw twice in the theater.
Galaxy Quest (1999)
Fly Away Home (1996) YES! Because I had ducks, and so this was like the most awesome movie, EVER. lol
Dragonheart (1996) Such an epic movie. One of the very few that made me cry at the end.

Home Alone (1990)
Ms. Doubtfire (1993)
Balto (1995) I love this movie to death, even though I learned recently that the famous Balto of the Iditarod wasn't even half wolf. Of course I knew the movie wasn't going to be accurate, but don't change that!
Tremors (1990) My parents actually let me watch this when I was a kid. For some reason, I was fascinated. And then spooked to the point where I would hop on patches of grass and not touch any sand in fear of monsters coming up from the ground and pulling me under. Best parenting decision? Probably not lol)
The Witches (1990) Why? Cuz they changed into mice, I guess!
Wolf (1994) I don't even know. I've rewatched it recently and said to myself: 'wtf? Why did I like this movie so much?' It does have a feral aspect, which I've always loved. The scene in the stall was always my favorite.
Wild Hearts Can't Be Broken (1991) This one wasn't even on Wiki's list. WTF. Beautiful film. Just beautiful.

Did I make any of you feel old? Because I surely do, now >_<

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Old-School poems. I mean, old school poems.

I wrote all of these in high school, and haven't really written poems since. Going through these again makes me think that I sound like I was some emo chick or something, and I wasn't lol I was actually happy for the most part - really!

Your life is a mess;
You wonder what went wrong
You try to forget
But it hasn't been long.
The crying never seems to stop
And the pain never goes away,
You used to be at the top
But now you begin to sway.
You feel so alone;
So empty inside.
What you have shown
Is nothing but your willing to die.
You try so hard to keep going,
But it seems you have no choice.
Your heart begins slowing
And you have no more voice.
All you do now is cry;
All you see now is death;
You begin not to try,
For the world you finally left.

This pain I feel
Deep Inside
Came from something
I could not hide.
It lives within me,
Constantly there,
Making me feel
What I dare not share.
This Love I feel
Deep inside,
Those hopes and dreams
Which I strive to hide.
He doesn't know;
He doesn't feel;
He doesn't care
If this is real.
This hurt I feel
Deep inside,
Came from days
I thought I'd die.
Where love seemed
So much further away,
And friendship seemed
To remain that day.
This love,
This hurt,
This pain I feel,
Are things I know
Have to be real.
But why does love
Cause so much pain?
It makes no sense -
There is no gain.
I got a friendship
I could not keep,
And for that, this
Young girl
Starts to weep.
One day this pain
Will go away.
But not today,
Today it will stay.

Shunning pleasures;
In low spirits
As he grows.
Deeply penitent;
Love is dying.
Feels more sadness
Than he knows.

The icicles so sharp
pierce into my soul
of unconsciousness
in a way that I've 
never felt before.
Deep inside the cave
lies water so deep;
As deep as my eyes -
the color so blue.
Loneliness in my heart
holding tightly to life.
Strongly awaiting
the day when
the leaves on the trees
fly away into the sky.
So hard to concentrate,
darkness envelopes my
into a sea of nothingness.

I know sometimes you feel down
And I can't help but worry.
I know you don't like to be mothered,
but I care for you anyway.
I wish you could tell me
What you feel deep inside.
You keep so many secrets locked away;
You just don't understand how this is hurting me.
If I could read you,
What would I see?
Would I see an image
Of you and me?
I'll never know, 
Because you'll never tell.
That's what keeps you
Locked in your cell.
Why did you leave me
Without saying goodbye?
I thought we were friends.
And so this is why I worry,
And this is why I care.
But you'll never understand 
Because you will never be there.

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Recipes... I mean, applications

This is a direct copy from my Facebook page. I'm putting it here to make it easier to access and add to. They're not in any kind of order, but I could tell you that the first thing I ever made from Good Eats was Alton's guacamole. Why? Well, because they weren't really selling it in the store anymore (they only had guacamole dip. Yuck!). And when I COULD find it, it was freaking expensive.

Recipes... I mean, applications
by Amy Gurley on Sunday, January 2, 2011 at 4:06pm

I'm just going to list all of the applications I have made of Alton's and try to remember to add to this list as I go. It starts back in... November of 2009.

Baked Mac and Cheese
Banana Bread (I'm Just Here for More Food)
Chicken Wings (Buffalo)
Skirt Steak
Caesar Salad
Smoked Trout
Refrigerator Pickles (FN short, slightly different recipe than in American Pickle)
Pop Tarts (using current recipe on
Butter cream Frosting (fail)
Tres Leche cake (Milk cake)
Carrot Cake
Angel Food Cake
Green Bean Casserole (also made straight up cream of mushroom soup using this recipe)
Steamed Mussels
Oat Flour Oatmeal Raisin Cookies
Beef Jerky
Smoked Ribs
Fried Plantains
Oat Flour Waffles
Baked Potato (yeah that's right - there was a recipe from his show and I followed it, so there lol)
Pan-Fried Chicken (didn't use buttermilk - used eggs instead)
Red Velvet Cake
Devil's Food Cake
Pork Tenderloin
Potato Salad
Moo-less Chocolate Pie
Flank Steak Roulade
Going Dutch sourdough bread
Pinwheel cookies (The Cookie Clause)
Chocolate chip cookies
Vanilla wafers
Fried calamari
Tortilla chips
Roast turkey
Turkey gravy
40 Cloves and a chicken
Cranberry dipping sauce
Pan cooked salmon in "Gills Gone Wild"
Macaroons (from a FN short)
Popcorn (yes that counts - I used to just buy the bags, now I pop my own lol)
Granola from the episode "Power Trip" - I modified the Granola recipe and made it into a cereal.
Wontons (although I stuffed them with something else, so does that even count? lol He still taught me how to make them! lol)
Pot Roast (the cookbook version, not the episode version with the olives and raisins... ew lol)
The application for cooking steak in "Steak Your Claim"
The application for cooking lamb on the grill (even though it was not the same cut) "Grill Seekers"
The application to cook city ham. Unfortunately, it was already spiral cut so I could not put the whole rub on it

Saturday, May 19, 2012


I'm not going to be posting this on twitter or facebook, so if you happen to run across this in your travels, you have been forewarned of TMI! This is mostly for my journal.

So, for the last couple of months, I'd been having this sharp, kind of pulling pain in my very lower left quadrant whenever I exercise. And it's not even hard exercise. Just walking down my street (albeit quickly) or the elliptical machine at the gym. The pain is pretty intense when it happens, and almost stops me in my tracks. I end up walking slower, breathing hard, and willing it to go away. It feels a lot like stitches, except no where near that area. It can last for several minutes, or it could go away in 30 seconds. But regardless, it's hindering my ability to exercise. I already have enough excuses not to do it - I don't want this to derail my efforts of progression. I'm trying to walk my route faster. Maybe even jog some of it to get more benefit, but I can't with this going on.

I think it might have begun almost a year ago, when I had this really painful (like an 8 or 9 on the scale) IBS attack that just doubled me over while I was driving home from work. Now you're thinking "Don't drive like that, it's dangerous! Why don't you just stop and wait for the pain to pass?". Because you're ignorant and obviously don't know anything about IBS. At this point, I'm doing everything I can not to shit my pants. When you get a severe IBS attack, you find the nearest bathroom and spend the next 10-15 minutes writhing in pain as your colon tries to push out everything that's in you. I can feel it pulsing and clenching; wanting everything out, NOW. So, pushing through the pain, I continue to drive home. But, there's this extra bit of pain in my lower left quadrant that had never been there before. That's what was increasing the pain of this attack exponentially. So, because of this, I make an appointment with my PCP. I'm thinking "Can IBS really be this bad?" I wanted to make sure nothing else was going on. He ordered a CT which turned up normal. But after this, I start getting the pain when I exercise. Pretty random at this point because I do the hCG diet which I don't have to exercise, and then a lot of the time I just never do, so the problem never really occurred. But when I decided to finally do it for the long haul, that's when I noticed the pattern.

Anyway, so I go back to my PCP and he says "colonoscopy". At this point, I'm almost 100% sure that whatever is happening to me is not coming from inside my colon, but the only way to prove it to my doctor is to get the damn procedure, so I agree. (I actually think it's adhesions, because there's definitely a tugging, pulling sensation on or near my colon. But, adhesions are very rare in someone that's never had surgery, and the only way to diagnose them is with an exlap - or exploratory laparoscopy.)

I'm having my procedure on a Friday, and I can't work, so I take the day off. But the prep starts Thursday. Even though I'm not having my procedure until 2pm on Friday, I can't eat all day on Thursday (or Friday). Nothing but jello and broth and other clear liquids. And no red or orange dyes (looks like blood in the colon, I guess) which sucks because those are the colors I like. Red means cherry or strawberry, orange is the color of my Mio: peach mango or orange tangerine. So, I can't have yummy jello, or my Mio. Well, I settle for mixing lemon and lime jello so that works. I still eat chicken broth, and settle for that blue ice gatorade/powerade.

The absolute WORST part of this whole damn thing, and that includes the actual procedure which wasn't even bad, was drinking the PEG-3550. Also called Go Lightly. It's basically salt water, which flushes everything out of your colon in short order. Now, I had a choice between Moviprep, which was a total of only 2 liters (drink one on thursday, and one on friday) for $100, or Go Lightly, which was 4 liters. (yes, a gallon) that I could still split into 2 doses, for $10. Not being incredibly rich, I go for the 4 liter option. Because they say I can add crystal light to it, and Mom had to do it also. She'd told me it didn't taste too awful - there was just a lot of it. So I thought, okay, I can do that.


Now, the only crystal light I had was orange colored, of COURSE. But that's what mom used so I did to. I added 3 to-go packets to the gallon and tried to drink my first 16 oz dose at 5pm on Thursday. Ha. By my 2nd 16oz, I was trying not to gag. On my third, I was shivering in disgust and could barely drink it at all. I tried to just down it as fast as I could, but the flavor was just awful. I managed to drink 32 oz plus about another 8oz. I couldn't finish my 4th bottle. It took me 3 hours to do it. And I had even added a squirt or 2 of my Mio because, orange or not, I needed something. 

But, I do have to say, the actual bathroom part wasn't bad. Unlike the time I took a stimulant laxative, there was no pain. It was like being sick but w/o the "being sick" part. Thursday wasn't bad at all. Because normally, I think you're supposed to drink the whole gallon at once, so it happens all at once, but the pharmacist said I could split it up so I did, and Thursday wasn't even bad. (besides a headache that I was sure was caused by the PEG) Friday did clean my out, though. I  was supposed to be finished drinking it 3 hrs before my appointment, so to give myself ample time I started at 7am. But, I made Justin go out and get me a different colored Mio. I knew there to be some lime green stuff, so I told him to get that. That got me through it. I don't even know what flavor it was, but I didn't care. Although I still couldn't drink it all, it helped. I did manage to down 64oz, but I still had about another 12oz to go. But by this time, I was running completely clear, (and green, but clear) so I didn't bother to finish it. What the PEG did to me I freaking hated, though. It was giving me a hangover without the "getting drunk" bit, which was totally lame. I was weak and shaky and tired and thirsty because it was making me dehydrated. After I downed the PEG, I drank a 32oz bottle of gatorade to re hydrate me, as per the directions. It helped. Also, I still couldn't eat. I wasn't even hungry until after my gatorade though, and by then, it was almost appointment time.

So, long story short, they admit me, do vitals ask questions. I tell them I'm sensitive to narcotics so they make sure to give me anti-nausea with my Fentanyl dose. I lay on my left side facing the monitor, but unfortunately they take away my glasses so I can't watch it very well. They explained that I might sleep during the procedure, or not remember it, and not remember things afterwards etc. And had I not asked for the anti-nausea, that might have been the case. Because I know Vicodin makes me feel heavy and woozy and forgetful (not to mention pukey). However, I was 100% aware the whole time. I didn't care that a probe was up my ass, mind you, but I was aware of it. I was wincing when they blew air into me in order to see my colon, and I think they gave me more pain killers ("she's still wincing" I remember the nurse saying). I think I might have also seen a puddle of green on the viewscreen - leftover PEG, which I knew I might still have some in there. The whole thing only took about 10-15 minutes. And when they wheeled me out, I was able to articulate and talk just fine. In fact, when Justin had his endoscopy, he ended up worse off afterwards than I had. He'd even forgotten that the doctor had come in after the procedure to talk to us. I was just a little wobbly on my feet, but I was still awake and doing just fine. They told me I should be farting out all the air in me. If I didn't, then I would feel very bloated and in pain. I tried, but not much happened. Still, I wanted to go eat, and eat well, so I asked Justin to drive us to Dupont for the Super Buffet. Even though it was afternoon traffic and I wasn't that hungry, I figured by the time we got there I would be. Problem was, I was feeling incredibly bloated and in so much pain. Like the time I had a whole tub of carb-free ice cream and I felt like my insides were going to rip open. When we got there, and I attempted to get out of the car, I was like "oh shit". I could barely move, let alone walk. And I just couldn't get all the air out. It was awful. But eventually, we ate and I went home and I was feeling better.

Oh, also, they didn't find anything wrong with me. They did take a couple of biopsies that will take 7-10 days for the results. I asked for a copy of my report before I left, which was cool cuz now I have color photos of the inside of my colon. Yippie lol.

Saturday, May 12, 2012

I've Been Retweeted

As I'm sure all of you are aware by now, my favorite celebrity is Alton Brown and he is on Twitter. As himself, not some douche tweeting for him. I happened to make a comment to him on twitter that sounded innocent enough. Which he then retweeted to his masses, all... 292,934 of them. At first, I was excited. I thought "OMG, Alton just retweeted me!" And then, it sunk in... that he retweeted my comment because he thought I was dissing his show.

How did I know? His response.

Okay, well, at least he saw and responded to what I meant, so he knew I wasn't dissing him. Unfortunately, the damage was already done.

It's basically a "release the hounds" gesture. Yes, Alton can be very melodramatic, and half the time I don't know when he's kidding. He's a lot like my dad in how he can keep a straight face while making a joke, and you're just not sure if he's bullshitting you or not. And this being Twitter, it's basically impossible to tell. He will "joke" about his 10's-of-fans, that fact that "all the people that want [A Good Eats Box Set] are in this room" (said during his book tour) etc etc. He can hate on himself and sometimes I really wonder if he means it, or if he actually thinks that way. He's explained the reason he retweets haters is to make everything balanced, when in reality, I think it's because he's a little offended and he wants to release his followers after the haters. But unfortunately, I'm not a hater, and I've been putting out the fires ever since. Dammit AB, you so owe me lol

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Living on a Farm is Traumatic Part II

I've probably dealt with more animal deaths than most people have animals. As in, more of my animals have died then what most people own in the first place. And it can wear on you. It still wears on my mom, considering she's dealt with all those losses, plus the ones I haven't been around for, like 4 of her cats dying plus the best dog in the world.
I'd start with the bunnies we owned at the old place (where I lived from ages 4-8 and dad started his business), but I have no idea what happened to them. They were Bugs, Buster and Babs. (Original, I know) and they were fairly wild. I remember letting one out once in the fenced backyard and it took like, 30 minutes to catch it.  I also can't tell you about the llamas. I think we must have sold them off so they don't count. The tally begins at the new house, the place I lived from ages 8 to18.
Spikers was my cat. Spike for short. I believe we'd gotten him from my Aunt Joyce, whose cat had kittens. I also think Spike was the only tuxedo in the group and that's why I chose him. Although, I could be wrong - my parents often correct me on memories I don't remember because I wasn't actually there and I just thought that I was. Who knows.

Anyway, Spike was one of, if not the first, animal to go. He was probably about 15 when he got sick, which was what I now believe as kidney disease/failure, which is common in cats. He was bulimic, then anorexic, (and I say that to mean, he would throw up all his food and then stopped eating completely, basically) and my parents finally put him down because they couldn't afford to run a multitude of tests on an old cat.
I also owned ducks. I'll try to keep this story short cuz I could go on forever about this. Buddy, one of our dogs, brought home a baby duck once. We nursed it back to health, and bought another pair to keep him company. I named the mallard Chipper, because he chirped as a baby. The other two ducks were different. Hector (who I originally named Heather until my parents told me it was a boy) was a Penciled Indian Runner. Like a pinto, but in duck form lol very pretty. Huey was a Peking duck. You know, what they make food from.  One night there was a storm. The next morning I go say hi to my ducks and Hector and Huey come running up to the edge of the cage freaking out. Chipper had strangled himself under the fence in the night. He was gone. Oh boy did I cry. (I was in the 6th grade I remember). He had still been a duckling and so I never saw him grow up. My parents went to the store and bought another mallard. (technically, they are Rune ducks when not wild). I named him Chipper Jr, but still called him Chipper or Chip-Chip. All three grew into adults nice and healthy.  Huey and Chipper and Hector roamed our property happily, never leaving because I fed them.

Until one day, I come home from school (I always used to ask "Hows Chipper?") and mom would say fine. Then one day she said "but Huey..." something had gotten to him and eaten him. His feathered remains were down by the creek. So, we caged Hector and Chipper up. But Hector was mean. He was some kind of nasty alpha duck, and Chipper was a sweet little wimp (at least Chipper Jr grew up to be a male) but Hector would like, grab his head and mount him and always bite at him and stuff. So, because I was sick of Chipper getting picked on, I decided it was time to let Hector go free. In the end, it was a death sentence because Hector's wings were permanently clipped. He could never be able to fly. But in order for Chipper to not be alone, I managed to find someone down my street who owned ducks for their eggs and stuff. They had grown up wild, while Chipper was a tame as a pet. They let me have a female mallard for free. It took me a long time to catch her. Ugh. I named her Robin, and they had many eggs together which I unfortunately had to throw away (especially after one made me sick after I ate it). My parents wouldn't let me have any baby ducks, dammit. So now, when I get picked up from the bus stop, I would ask mom "so how's robin?" fine, she would say, until one day she said "But Chipper..." Yes. While I was at school, something had gotten under the fence and killed Chipper. I was more than devastated. Even my mom cried. It was the worst day of my life. They had even gotten me a sympathy card, and we'd buried Chipper's remains and had a cross and everything. Robin was grief stricken (it was obvious, honestly). We couldn't keep Robin now. She was alone and in danger. Besides, she was wild and wasn't really a good pet. My parents found some people who owned free roaming ducks and we gave her to them. Happy ending, right? For a while. And then they told us that Robin had disappeared. Sigh. Oh well.
Okay, so anyway, there was my one rabbit, Russell, who we kept in a cage by the edge of the forest (in hindsight, not a good idea), who eventually got eaten by something. I wasn't that attached, luckily.
Also, besides Rambo and Snickers, my favorite pony, Rusty (a rust colored pinto & Snickers's backup for pictures) also passed away. I forget from what or how. I cried with that loss too. Snickers, Rambo and Rusty were basically the original 3 ponies that we'd had from dad's start, back when I was about 4-5. And we'd had that trio the longest.
Our dogs that we'd had I think even longer than Spikers, both died as well. Beau was mom's purebred Pomeranian. Buddy was dad's Cocker Spaniel/Poodle/Wiener dog mix.

That's a lot of losses for a child to bear. I still think about Chipper sometimes. A duck can be a really good pet when brought up to not be afraid of you. I used to hold him, and pet him, and take him for walks. I used to pick him up and hold him out, and he would pretend to fly (kind of like how you do to babies, except Chipper would flap his wings). He would even nibble on my finger and I'd call them little kisses. He was the best pet I'd ever owned. *sniff*

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Living on a Farm is Traumatic Part I

I probably had this epiphany a while ago and just never bothered to write it down. But it's totally true. We are the sum of our memories, and our past makes us who we are today, and I gotta tell ya: living on a farm is a traumatic life experience. If you've never lived on a farm, well... you might be lucky, but you might have also missed out on some cool shit. Like, watching your pony get his teeth shaved, and you were close enough to breathe in the enamel dust. (Btw, the smell of tooth dust is not very pleasant... at all.) Although, I would have to say the smell of pony pee is much worse. Ever heard that term "I gotta pee like a race horse"? Yeah, there's a reason that saying came into being. Our two stalls had your basic dirt floor covered in pine shavings. Being as ponies don't move around a lot in stalls, they usually pee in the same exact place. Their pee is like turning on a garden hose. And after a while, that garden hose of urine is going to wear a nice big hole in that dirt. And then, when it's time for you to clean that stall, where is all the pee? You guessed it. The pine shavings are soaked to the brim, deep in that hole. Along with some urine mud. Yeah, that's right: urine mud. Yeah, good memories, that. *shivers*.
I should point out though, that even though I grew up on a farm, it wasn't exactly a farm. More like... a large area filled with a bunch of animals. So yeah, I didn't milk cows, or birth cows, or get eggs from chickens or that kind of stuff. Oh-ho-oh I'd have much better stories if that was the case. But no, we just had dogs, cats, ducks, goats, rabbits, and ponies. At one time, we had llamas too. First time I got thrown off a llama I never wanted back on. Those things can be vicious, spitting on you and crap. We had nice ones, but we had some pissy ones too. We switched to ponies for dad's business and they're much more docile.
Have you ever watched an animal die? If so, you know how traumatic it can be. Especially if that's an animal you've known for almost your whole life. My parents were at Costco, and I looked out the window and noticed Rambo, one of our Shetland ponies, sitting on his knees and kind of biting his shoulder in jerky motions. Concerned, I went out to take a look. He was ignoring me, and he kept biting his shoulder. Not like it was an itch, but like he was in pain, maybe. I ran back inside and grabbed a hoagie roll, which most ponies would just love, but he didn't eat it. I was getting scared, and tried to find the phone number to Beau, our vet, in dad's office, but couldn't. I settled for calling my parents. I told them I thought Rambo might have colic, but only because that's the only sickness I knew of that ponies could have. In retrospect, he didn't have any signs of colic. (Colic in ponies can be very dangerous since they can't vomit. If their intestines get blocked, they could die). They told me they would be home soon and would check him out then. So, I went back out there and just knelled down next to him and petted him. Rambo's head was on ground and he was on his side, now. His breathing was labored and very shallow. I could barely even tell if he was breathing. Then, he was gone. Right before my parents got home. They called Beau, and I told my parents that I didn't think he was breathing anymore. Beau said it might have been an aneurysm. Tough stuff for a kid to deal with.
And then there was the time were we almost did lose a pony to colic. Snickers was our amazingly awesome, sweetest, and prettiest pony ever. He'd apparently done rodeo clown things before settling in with us, so he was a perfect no-fear type of pony. Nothing could spook him (besides the opening of an umbrella), and that was perfect for the job we needed him to do. That, and he was a pinto. Perfect for pictures. I loved Snickers to death. But one day, he got colic and it was bad. We had our vet come out to treat him. The solution to it, basically, was to flush his system with IV fluid when it couldn't go away by itself. He was in the horse trailer for a long time, being flushed with fluids, but Beau said that he just wasn't getting any better. It was getting late at night, and he thought it best to put Snickers down. But, he had to take his daughter home first. While he was gone, we all cried. It was a horrible thing. Snickers was suffering, and he'd been so good to us. But, we had to accept that he was just really sick and this was the best way. Then, Beau came back, and checked his vitals again. It was a miracle... Snickers was turning the corner and getting better. The fact that Beau had to leave and come back... saved Snickers's life.
I've got more stories... but we'll save them for another time. I'm feeling a bit sad at the moment.
Oh, I should probably say that Snickers lived a long, good life. We retired him a bit later and he lived out his remaining days in relaxation not having to work all the time anymore. I think he developed Cushings, and we finally had to put him down, but he was quite old for a pony... 26 or 28 I think. A VERY long life. I still miss Snick-snick.

                                                          Yeah that's me, on Snickers

Saturday, May 5, 2012

I'm Apparently Stealing the Internet

I just got accused yesterday by my neighbor that I am stealing her internet. She claims that we can disconnect them, and down their firewall etc etc. She says she hears us pulling cables through the wall, in which they promptly bang on our wall. Once, it was hard enough to drop a picture of mine to the floor and break the frame. (If I was actually doing this, why would I ever need to do that more than once, I ask you?!)
So anyway, I get this knock on my door yesterday, and the chick is standing there, fuming. She begins with "I just want you to know that I know what you're doing and I'm calling the cops." And begins to walk back to her apartment. I'm stuttering out replies, as I have no idea what's going on. She accuses me of stealing her internet, says "F*uck you" and almost closes her door. I stammer out "I pay almost $100 a month!" And she comes back out and is all like "Where's the bill, huh?"
So, being the cowardly pussy-willow that I am, I rush back inside and get on the website to print my bill. It's taking entirely too long. She yells through my wall "I'm calling the cops!" I finally manage to print my bill and knock on her door. She looks it over, and says "This doesn't look like a bill. It's looks like you printed it!"
Uh yeah, I did. I tried to explain to her that it had my name and account number on it, and it was a bill currently due. She basically shrugged it off and said it was fake. She said she was calling comcast, the manager, and the cops, and shut the door on me.
My legs are shaking. I'm so upset (and I don't mean angry) that I'm beside myself. Justin is just getting home, and together we take the bill to the manager. She said she hadn't heard anything from her (which I don't even know the lady's name. We barely even knew what apartment number it was.) And although professional about it, she was almost laughing it off, which was nice because I was still so upset. 
Another hour later, we have two separate instances of them banging on our wall, because they think they hear us pulling cable. (Again I ask, why would I need to do this more than once?) So I call up the manager and explain. She said she would call her. Afterwards, I get a call back and so now I have given permission for the maintenance guy to come in on Wednesday to make sure everything is legit.
I was just so upset that I took Justin with me to the store because I decided to make Tres Leche cake. Yes, I have turned to cooking to calm my nerves, which is like, so not even me it's scary. But, I needed to do something. I couldn't concentrate on writing or watching TV.  Unfortunately, that is a very simple recipe and it takes 9 hrs inactive time to soak up milk, so again I had nothing to do and was still so agitated because I couldn't fix this.
             [You see, we previously (and when I say we, I mean dumb-ass Justin) were enemies with our old downstairs neighbors because he liked to play Rockband and his off hours were like, 3am at the time. Although I tried to be civil with them, Justin would be vindictive about it even though it was our fault. I think her kid totally keyed our old car.]
Anyway, I didn't want another enemy neighbor. Especially since it wasn't our fault. At least I never ever see her, so there's no awkwardness there, really, but still.
I called my parents. I knew they would be over here because it was their last week of bowling, so I left a message and mom knew exactly what was going on thanks to Facebook. I asked them to come over because I couldn't shake this. Dad basically said she was crazy and not to worry about it. Like Justin, he would rather laugh shit like this off, than to worry. He suggested that if she came after me again, to invite her into the apartment and show her that I wasn't stealing her internet. I told him that I was sure that wouldn't do any good because she was only going to see what she wanted to see (like with my bill "it's not even folded up, it looks printed!"). And what we have is a huge bundle of cables all over the place because both Justin's computer, the TV, the modem and the router, plus our iOmega HDD is right there. In fact, Justin's desk is covering where the cable is, so it's hard to even tell what's going on back there. Although, if the maintenance guy showed her, MAYBE she'd believe it. But I seriously even doubt that the maintenance guy saying "nope, she's legit" is going to matter. She's convinced that I am stealing her cable, since it's apparently been happening for "months". I think I remember her telling me that she'd already called Comcast, and they told her to make a statement to the police if that was the case. I think Comcast is the reason all this is happening. Obviously, something is wrong with her internet, and they're brushing her off. I hate Comcast even more now that I ever did before. Lazy-asses.