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Wednesday, July 30, 2014

The Fall After the Fun


For Part 1, please click here.

My head hurts, and for good reason. It met a wall yesterday, and that wall was not kind. In fact, it was covered with a magnetic knife rack.

Let me explain. Saturday, I went to an awesome wedding, as described in Part 1. It was BYOB, so I brought my own B. Simple stuff: caramel vodka, caramel Irish cream, and almond milk as my mixer. I can hold my alcohol fairly well; with the stuff I drink, I usually get full long before I get so wasted that I regret the morning. But not this time. And here is why:

I gave a pint of blood Friday afternoon.

Okay, I did what they said. I waited 24 hours before drinking. I was not expecting to get so blasted from so little. I was done drinking by about 7pm. Was able to drive (maybe not quite legally) by 8:30. I dropped Mary off at her place and drove home. I even got online a bit before conking out at about 9:30. I woke up 3 hours later thirsty. I was dizzy in bed but that has happened before so I didn't think much of it. I got up, and proceeded to the kitchen where I tried to pour myself a glass of lemonade. My vision whited out. I thought "If I could just pour this and drink it I'd be fine." But then I went down like a rock. I heard the glass shatter at my bare feet, my head hit the wall behind me and knocked a knife from the rack and it landed on the floor next to me.

This was the carnage:

I woke up without a single cut on my skin. I was amazingly lucky. The knife that fell hadn't hit me on the way down, but even if it had, it just happened to be one of the dullest ones on the rack. Had my head been an inch to my left, I would have hit my filet knife or my Shun (which I've dropped and had it stick straight up from the floor) and things could have gone quite differently.

After that, I had (WARNING, TMI) a bad IBS attack, which was just great, seeing as how I couldn't keep my head up without wanting to pass out. That was fun, and incredibly painful. After that I managed to get some water to drink, because I'd started shaking. But as soon as I downed the water I got nauseated and threw up a couple of times, in addition to a couple bouts of diarrhea (what is this, the Flu? C'mon!).

+1 for the brand new memory foam bathmat I'd just bought at Costco earlier that day, by the way.

Okay yes, this might sound like a typical hangover, but not for me. I'd never drank so much as to faint or throw up. The IBS attack was a pure bonus. And had I not given that pint, I probably would have been just fine. So please, be warned. Take heed. Whatever. I was alone when this happened and it could have been much worse.

I hear all the teens snickering. 

Yes, I know, it's a "thing" to give blood and drink. It's a cheap way of getting to your destination. I just wish I'd known that the "24 hour rule" didn't really make much of a difference! I'm fine now. I've learned my lesson. I'll give myself at least 25 hours from now on :P

Sunday, July 27, 2014

Fun Before a Fall


Sometimes weddings can be boring. They can be slow, and they can be extravagant and proper. Hell, even my own wedding was pretty plain-Jane - not to say that I didn't enjoy my theme or venue, but what was there to remember?

I somehow knew in the back of my mind that Kristina and Steve's wedding would be entirely different. I've known Kristina since I moved to the Port Orchard area in 1994. She's been though a lot of bad things in her life, and I could tell that Steve made her positively radiant. We really only see each other once a year now, during her annual party that is epic beyond proportions, and I had a feeling, after reading the invite to her wedding, that this would be no different.

..."And finally after many many years of waiting... Kristina's wedding and Steve's final days of freedom"

It was a simple backyard affair at their place, and I invited Mary to come with. It was a gorgeous 80 degree day and there were many family and friends in attendance. Their backyard was huge, filled with an above ground pool and a gazebo with a fire pit, not to mention the deck. It started out innocently enough, with Steve and the groomsmen all sauntering down the isle in their Western getups (I wish I could remember the western song they played, something about life being ruined? ^_^) After the bridesmaids came down and it was getting close to Kristina making her appearance, suddenly the music changes to Jaws. You hear "Run, Steve!" and he tries to make a break for it, like The Flash, across the backyard opposite of the crowd. Everyone is laughing because you know it's all part of the fun. He disappears beyond the house and you hear the POP of a fake (edit: REAL) gun go off. A moment later, one of the men has him by the gruff leading him back to his spot. Steve tries to fight him off and fails, and reluctantly, he goes back to his doomed wait at the end of the isle.

The flower children make their decent, and then it's Kristina's turn. The dress she had chosen was just gorgeous. Her hair all softly flowing curls with white flowers in it. The only downside to the next 5 minutes was that Mary and I couldn't hear a darn thing, being all the way in the back by the pool. Steve slipped a ring on Kristina's finger, and Kristina surprised us by shackling an actual Ball-n-chain to Steve's foot. Deep laughter filled the air.

Best. Wedding. Ever.

The kiss was covered by Steve's cowboy hat and they were probably only seconds from someone jokingly shouting for them to get a room.

After the ceremony was over, it was a potluck-style food buffet in which I had apparently brought the only dessert: those easy, no bake, peanut butter bars. They were definitely a hit.

And when the cake came out, I had to reiterate my above statement.

If only all weddings could be so fun and carefree. But that's Steve and Kristina's style, and it fit them perfectly.

So, with a hat tip and a glass raise, I say: Congratulations Kristina (and so sorry, Steve!) and may you both live happily ever after!

What's that? Oh, you're wondering about the title. As soon as my head clears I'll write part two!

Thursday, July 17, 2014

I'm Probably Expecting too Much

I don't know why I keep thinking that every time I go to the ocean I'm expecting warm weather and sunshine. Maybe it was because it was going to be around 90 degrees last Sunday and I assumed that because the ocean was less than 2 hours away that it would be a decent temperature there too. I think I'm expecting too much.

Ocean Shores itself, although touristy, was still very small and pretty boring. There's a couple of strip malls to shop around in, but most of them included places to buy kites and other toys. We saw more deer roaming the area here than I'd ever seen in the mountains. But, we didn't come to hang around in the town.

When I went last Sunday, I was going to swim no matter what because I'd just spent $60 on swimwear that fit me after years of going without. When Justin and I got to the beach, and it was finally time to swim (around 2pm), the marine layer still hadn't cleared, and the promise of 70 degrees that my phone was showing me must have been from an inland town and not the shore. My car was saying 59, and I'm thinking that didn't include the windchill. Despite this fact, the beach was pretty packed, as Washingtonians are very used to this weather.

I don't think too many people know what our oceans are like. It's not like the east coast at all and I wouldn't even put it in the same caliber as California. We have rich, food-laden (and disgusting-looking) water because it's so cold. We don't have the gulf stream so if our water temperature gets above 55 it's a good day. To top it off, we're a northern state so it takes a lot of prayers and weird weather to get the beaches beyond 70 degrees, even when the interior is baking.

Mmmm, poopy. Or plankton-y. Whichever. 

It took guts and about 15 minutes for me to get out to hip deep. I drove here expecting to 'beat the heat' and that's definitely what I got; I was freezing. The ocean isn't really meant for literal 'swimming', and although I had brought my wake-boards, we didn't use them. I watched as a couple of other people tried the same thing and it wasn't working well for them either so I didn't bother to drag them out. I probably spent no more than 40 minutes in the water and immediately jumped back into the car and turned up the heat. There was no 'lounging in the sun and drying off' at this beach! At least we had the car to hide in. (that I will now spend the afternoon scrubbing down because the seats smell like dead sea creatures.)

I have got to stop expecting so much from our beaches. It's the end of July for frack's sake, and its 59 and cloudy, even when it's beyond hot less than 2 hours away. From now on, lakes will be a better bet.