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Sunday, April 29, 2012

Birthday... bash?

So my birthday bash was pretty good. Not awesome like I'd hoped, but not lame either, which is always good. I took Friday off from work (I will regret this decision come Monday, since nobody else does my job but me), but I digress. Mary, a close friend of mine, goes to school in Tacoma and was off at 11:30. So, I pick her up then, and we hang out for a while. (Hanging out with me usually comprises of straight-up boredom followed by the line "what do you want to do?") We go to Safeway to get lunch, and I decide to make my own ice cream cake for my birthday (more on this later). I force her to watch a couple episodes of Good Eats (Beet It has the best beginning ever, and Salad Daze II: Long Arm of the Slaw is one of the funniest episodes), and we watch a movie. During all this, I am baking a chocolate box cake with nothing in it besides diet soda. I have also melted down some chocolate ice cream, added melted peanut butter, and am letting it re-freeze in a loaf pan. But, Mary is brimming over with energy and she wants to do something. In all of her suggestions (we can go to the zoo, walk on the beach, walk at the mall) "walk" was the key component. So I said "Walk? You want to walk? Let's go!" So, I got my exercise in for the day - my almost 3 mile round-trip walk down my street. Mary can't even keep up. What usually takes me 45 minutes took an hour lol.
So anyway, more on the cake. There was something wrong with the recipe as the cake was too damn fluffy to really work. It stuck to the bottom of the pan, and ended up being very pillow-y and couldn't hold together for nothing. (I think it has to do with 1. the lack of eggs and 2. the directions saying I had to beat the batter for two minutes. Because I used diet soda instead of eggs and oil, I probably didn't need to do that. It incorporated a lot of air into a batter that would already be light thanks to the carbonation in the soda.) ANYWAY. So, my cake is in crumbles. I press it into the loaf pan anyway, and then flip the whole thing over onto a plate. I decided that there wasn't enough cake, so I add more cake crumbles to the top of my already pathetic looking chocolate-peanut butter ice cream. I had bought some chocolate chips to make a ganache, but didn't realize it took heavy cream. I only had half n half, so I tried that. AND, I added more melted peanut butter lol. I tried to let it cool, I really did. I'm an inpatient person. So, the ganache is still fairly warm (I actually feared that if it cooled completely that it would being to solidify), and I poor it on top of the cake. Ha. What was already pathetic has turned into a melting pool of patheticness. Oh, the ice cream was still there - it was just a bit melty. I shoved it back into the freezer (and was desperately wishing for a blast chiller at this point) and let it refreeze.
Okay. I'm way off on a tangent here so let me skip forward. Before we head off to Chopstix to spend the evening with Justin, Mary, and Monica (and my parents for a little while) we stop by the bowling alley where my parents are currently bowling league. Justin and Mary suggest a game of pool so I join them. Monica is going to meet us down at Chopstix since she lives close by. After pool, we find a place to park (difficult even at 7:30) and head into the bar. Monica meets us there and we talk before the dueling pianos start at 8:30.
Doin good, we're having fun. Justin, who is supposed to be the designated driver, has already ordered 2 Coronas with lime. But fine, whatever. He's a big guy, he won't get drunk off of a few Coronas. They played one of my favorite songs by Journey (Any Way You Want It) thanks to Mary's request slip that says "It's Amy's Birthday" on it lol. But then, I see Justin ordering another drink - a mixed drink that you know, has hard A in it. I'm not very impressed. I try to take it away from him (unfortunately, I can't down it - it doesn't taste that great) but Justin steals it back. I am getting pissed. (If you knew the history of his alcohol problem and how it has affected our marriage, you might understand more). My parents show up, but they're sitting at the other end of the table. Not wanting to leave them alone (they are not in their element here) I join them at the other side. They're having fun, and I'm glad. I knew they would like it here because the dueling piano guys do a lot of rockin' oldies.
Justin orders yet another drink, but he's turned away from me and I take the opportunity to take it from him. I'm really pissed now. He can't steal it back this time. He turns, sees the drink gone, and mouths "bitch" to me. My parents don't even see it cuz they're all on the same side of the table. About 20 minutes later, Justin gets up and walks away. Okay, I figure he's using the bathroom. But, when he doesn't come back... Dad checks the bathroom he's not there. I text him and he says he left. Everyone is all wide-eyed at me. Really? Did my husband just walk out and not even bother to tell me? He tells me he's walking home. Okay, that's about 5 miles at least. Mom and I check to make sure he didn't take the car. It was still there. I decide, you know what? He wants to be a baby and walk out cuz he can't get drunk off his ass? Then fine, that's his problem. He's not going to ruin my night. My parents leave a short time later. They are not very impressed either. And luckily for me, even though I've had 3 drinks (two of them being of the AMF/Black Opal variety) I am still fairly sober. I can walk in a straight line, and I'm not dizzy or anything when I stand. I'm fine. I could probably pass a sobriety test, so I drive. I know, it's not wise, but what the hell else am I supposed to do? Neither Monica or Mary have a car. So, at about 11 or 11:30, I drive us back to my place. We don't see Justin at all. So, we spend a couple hours chatting, and then I drive Monica home. Mary lives across the bridge and I'm too tired, so she crashes on my couch. Justin comes home probably 10 minutes after I go to bed.
Hurray for birthdays.

PS - the next morning, we have pathetic ice cream cake for breakfast.


Thursday, April 26, 2012

Nostalgia, Volume I

I've been struck with a lot of nostalgia over the last couple of years. And since my birthday is tomorrow, I'll talk about some of them. First of all, I don't feel like I'm getting old(er) because it's my birthday. I've just had a number of medical and dental issues lately that make me feel older than I actually am. Already I yearn for my younger years when shit just didn't happen to you, you know?

I've gone on kicks (or bouts, if you prefer) of finding and documenting places I visited when I was younger. The creek by my house is one, and also a number of camping sites my parents and I stayed at. We camped at several different places. Washington is one of the most diverse states in the country for stuff like this. You have the option of the ocean, the mountains, or if you want to drive a little further, the desert. The ocean used to be my favorite because it was flat. And I was fat. And biking was a necessity. We would usually camp with my extended family who were a lot more active than I was. Some of the most interesting places I've visited were where the ocean and the cliffs meet. There were caves to explore, and driftwood to build things with, and once, even black sand. 

(Not in this picture. But Kalaloch was one of the most interesting beaches around)

The water around here is very cold, but I was used to it. Once you're in, you never want to get out because with the wind, land is much colder. I would be forced to walk along the beach with my family, fly kites, and collect shells and interesting rocks. When I grew up, I also rented a scooter that you could drive along the beach, made picnic lunches, and sun bathed (when there was sun, which was like, never).

Now that I am older, I much prefer the mountains over (our) ocean. I can appreciate all the beauty around me. We have actual rain forests here, and trust me, they would take your breath away. Ohanapecosh is one of the most beautiful places I've camped at. 

A lot of Washington's land is either owned by, or named after, Native Americans. If you want to camp in the "desert", one of the most notable places, and one of my favorites, is 8-mile Campground, which is 8 miles away from one of the coolest towns ever: Leavenworth. Ah, that rock. I finally found it. A huge L shaped boulder that my friend and I discovered back in the day. I swear it had to have been carved to fit perfectly for my ass, and it was poking out on the edge of a raging river. The BEST place to hang out, relax, and catch some rays. It took me a long time to find it. I'd had to visit a couple of different camp grounds before I did. My parents had no clue where it was, and all I could remember was that it had been in some mountains next to a river. Not very helpful. It also required a trek through the woods next to the river. I can't believe I finally found it. I <3 nostalgia. 

                                        (view from da Rock)

I actually don't much like the desert. I know a lot of people find it breathtaking, but I much prefer greenery. Actually, driving on my way to Lake Chelan for our Honeymoon I just about wanted to shoot myself because of the lack of anything to look at. (That pic still being in the mountains, it was something at least. Eastern WA is just... ugh)

Hey, I can pretend in this another Feasting on Asphalt and that's Alton's bike! ha!

Remembering back, I seem to have much more fun rediscovering these places than I did actually camping at them when I was younger. Sure, I had fun, but camping was also incredibly boring. Being a 90's child, I was raised on technology and so not having my computer or TV was almost unbearable. My parents did have a trailer with just enough room to sit at a table and cook a small meal. It had water, and a stove, and even an oven. The toilet was... nice. (The best ever, I mean, as I feared porta poties. Any campgrounds without running water were the worst.) My parents got to sleep in the trailer while I had my own tent. As a child, I felt almost like I was being punished. As an adult, I can see why they did it. Mom had the kitchen table/bed, Dad had the couch bed, and there really was no room left for me. The top bunk was barely low enough from the ceiling in order to sleep on your side. Very uncomfortable up there. Plus, dad snores like a chainsaw. I had a 10 person tent, and a queen-sized inflatable mattress. I was able to sprawl all my stuff out and it was my own little domain, which was kinda nice. I brought my tape player with me so I could listen to my music. I brought drawing supplies and my writing supplies, and whatever book I was currently reading. So, besides still being bored out of my skull despite all this, it was fun.

Before I go, I will tell one short story about one of my camping trips.
We were camping with my extended family: Uncle Clair/Aunt Shelly, and my Aunt Becky/Uncle David with their 3 boys that were pretty close to my age. I forget the exact campground (might have been Kalaloch), but it was at the beach near some cliffs. The boys and I went exploring near the rocks, and we found a few caves big enough to walk into. (Btw, I forget how old I was. 10-12 maybe?) I had the flashlight, and we walked into this cave that had a place you could squeeze by to go deeper. I flung the light around first, looking for anything dangerous. And then, I found it. A massive (okay, like 3 inches across) spider on the wall. I screamed like a banchee, and the boys freaked out too. (THEY didn't even know what I was screaming at!) I got stuck between the rocks. I was on my side completely, and I had to lift myself up a bit to get out. They helped me. We went back to the campsite and I told my parents about the huge spider. They weren't interested. (Hey, in WA, 3 inch spiders are massive, okay?) My uncle Clair said he would check it out. We went to show him (to prove that we weren't exaggerating, of course!) but the spider was long gone. I learned later that it was probably one of these *shivers in disgust*.
Anyway, that's it for Nostalgia, Volume I. Tune in next time for Volume II as I try to be more interesting!

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Somebody Stole my Package

Because it's a blog, and a memory for me, I should post things that even seem insignificant. I'm 27 years old, so  I haven't lived long enough to have many things happen to me. So, this is new. Apparently, somebody stole the package I ordered from Amazon right off my front porch. I'm actually quite shocked about it, because Justin and I live in a nice neighborhood. North Tacoma is very upscale and safe for the most part. We live in a gated (at night) apartment complex on the third floor. We didn't used to even lock our doors, but that was mostly because we had 3 people on different schedules living at our place.

I'm still not 100% sure if my package was stolen, but I don't know what else could have happened. I ordered a couple things from Amazon, and for the first time ever, it was being shipped from Seattle. Usually, my stuff comes from Sparks, NV, which is annoying since they have a warehouse only a hour from my house. It was being delivered by some weird company I'd never heard of: OnTrac. Unfortunately, when my package said "delivered", it was no where to be found. We have mailboxes that include large lock boxes to keep larger packages. And, we have an office. I checked both, and my package was nowhere. It said it had been delivered at 1:50, and Justin said he'd been home. He hadn't heard a knock, and he'd left at 2pm to pick up his check, and didn't see a package at the door.

I called OnTrac. The lady was very apologetic, and told me that they weren't supposed to leave packages at our door when you lived in a complex. I would get a call after she'd contacted the driver to find out what happened. I got a call back about 2 hours later, and she said that the driver would stop by on Monday, because it was late Friday night and he was off until then. I asked her if he'd left it at the office, and she said no; at my front door, but there was a language barrier because he spoke Spanish. She also explained that if the package couldn't be found, then Amazon would replace my items for free.

I was frustrated, but not entirely angry or upset. I'd only spent about $30 on this package and yes it would have sucked if I'd just lost it forever, but I wasn't going to yell and scream at her. She was probably very grateful that I was so nice. It wasn't her fault, and I knew that customer service gets the brunt of all the anger. I can't ever scream or cuss at customer service over the phone for anything. I'm just not like that.

Well, the next day, Saturday, I heard a knock on my door and found the delivery guy for OnTrac standing there. Okay, cool. He spoke English just fine enough for me to understand. He told me that yes, he'd left the package at my door. I told him about how my husband was here and he didn't see a package when he left 10 minutes later. Neither one of us could say much. He apologized, and again I didn't scream or cuss at him. Yeah, he was a moron because he knew he shouldn't have left it at my door. He probably figured he was going to get a tongue-lashing. But again, I'm just not that way. I was sure he would get one from his supervisor and that was fine.

So after that, I got online and sent Amazon an email explaining what happened. I hadn't expected an answer until Monday since it was Saturday, but I got one a couple of hours later. They apologized, said they would send me a replacement at no charge, and would make sure to let OnTrac know of my experience. My replacements are coming from Sparks, NV, oddly enough, but Amazon shipped it that day, and overnighted it. My stuff will be here by Monday -coming from UPS. They know to use our lock boxes. However, I shall be getting my things delivered to my work from now on.

Definitely A+ for Amazon in my book. They were awesome about responding to me quickly and shipping my stuff to me. The only thing I find kind of funny is I'm imaging the dude that stole my stuff off my porch and saying to hisself "wtf is this?" at my aebleskiver pan. Have fun trying to figure that one out or sell it, dude lol

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

My Playlist is Weirder than Your Playlist

Let's play! lol
Prove to me your range of music is weirder than mine. In the comments of course. Let's have fun with this. I want to see what I'm up against.
I grew up on oldies. Now, I don't know if my oldies are the same oldies as what is now "old music". I think "oldies" is it's own genre, no matter how many years pass on songs from the 90's and beyond. If anyone reading this lives in WA (which most do) you might have heard of 97.3, KBSG. That was the oldies station my parents had on all the time. So, I grew up on the Monkees, Neil Sadaka, The Cars and several similar bands that I can't even name because honestly, I didn't care what they were called - I just wanted the music. I have Peter, Paul and Mary's version of 'Blowin' in the Wind', The Cowsills 'The Rain the Park and Other Things' The Chiffon's 'One Fine Day' and so on. I have songs by Queen, Boston, Billy Joel, Amy Grant, oh and my favorite: 'Wendy' by The Association.
I loved so many songs from the movies I watched. I was living in the year of Musicals. Actually, the years of musicals was long gone, but I grew up on them still. My playlist is filled with songs from Willy Wonka, Annie, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, Dr Dolittle, and A Goofy Movie etc (seriously, those songs are good).
As I grew up, my tastes gently shifted. Usually it was because I had a tape player and listened on the bus every day, but if my player was out of batteries or something, I would be forced to listen to whatever was on the bus's radio. I began to listen to music that was a bit more recent (at the time. This was the 90's). I fell in love with pop and/or rock songs by Celine Dion, The Corrs, Goo Goo Dolls, Savage Garden and Green Day. Normal stuff. And then, oh-ho-hoh. In High School I discovered jpop (Japanese pop. Trust me, it's different), and it's associated techno. As I began to enjoy mediocre "techno" like Alice Dejay's "Better off Alone" and Eifel 65's "Blue", I discovered real techno/trance in Japanese music. I fell in love with most of the music by Gundam Wing, thanks to a boy in my Digital Media class. I was also watching a lot of anime at the time, and had/have many songs by Sailor Moon, Cardcaptor Sakura, (you want cutsie, these are it!) and other random animes - some which I've never even seen. But, they all had one thing in common: they were in Japanese.
And after I met Josh, Drummania (this was my favorite song btw) was introduced to the mainstream arcade, which we both loved. Through this open door, I discovered DDR (You know, Dance Dance Revolution!) music. Because yeah, those machines originated in Japan, and believe it or not, a lot of the songs are in Japanese.
After Josh passed away and I met Justin (and Rockband came out) my tastes diversified even further. A lot of the bands I (we) like now, were discovered through Rockband, just like I'd discovered music through Drummania. Kind of cool. One of my favorite bands is The Killers (weird music video), along with Shinedown. The interesting thing about Shinedown is like they're multi-personality, or something. They have soft music, and then they have in-your-face hard rock music, and I learned that I liked both. I also found to like a couple of songs from Disturbed, which even *I* think is strange. It's very hard core, but the chorus is really good lol. And believe it or not, I even have some classical pieces.
I've got a fairly diverse foreign library as well, from Tunak Tunak Tun, to the Corrs Irish music, to Basshunter (some in English, some in Swedish and the best Trance I've found to date - although their lyrics suck) to Alizee (French) and TATU, which sing in both English and Russian.

What's the weirdest song I have? Let's have a vote.
Arlo Guthrie - Alice's Restaurant 
Brunnen G Theme Song (From Lexx)
Remember the old-school Hamster dance website?! I HAVE A REMIX!
Remember Barbie Girl by Aqua? Yeah, I've got the Russian version.
Raffi - Banana Phone (this is mom's ringtone. Why? Cuz somebody needs it! lol)
Red Dwarf (I have several songs by that series. Love it!) Munchkin Song by Rimmer.

So, whada think? ^_^

Monday, April 16, 2012

Stolen Ideas

Not that I'm actually accusing them of stealing my idea ( but dammit, this is my shit! lol
I have this kind of obsession with animals and people (no, not THAT! Gross!) Think Animorphs. Think werewolves. There's something about a human with animal abilities that really appeals to me. For example: my story of Riyu, where a girl gets taken away from her family and cursed with black magic. She gets these cat-like abilities of strength and agility; hearing and smell, and involuntarily becomes a cat-human (think Neko only more fur, less cute). My favorite werewolf (and other otherwordly creatures) series is by Kelley Armstrong, and she writes the epitome of what a werewolf should be. A person with extra senses and abilities, who can change into a wolf at will. And one particular character, Clay, even has to contend with his animalistic instincts. The real reason I like Twilight so much? Edward. The part where they are in the woods, and he talks about how he can smell her. How he can't stay away. Something clicked. Twilight was my dip into the vampire/werewolf pool, and I never wanted to get back out. And when I discovered Kelley Armstrong's werewolves, I wanted to write my own version of this. Humans having to contend with animal instincts. This is how my trilogy, Feral, came along. I love this story. I'd love to get it published one day. I don't think that day will ever come, but I'm okay with that too. Feral, (and it's subsequent stories, Vigilante and Extreme) is about an alternate reality in which the world is overrun by a disease known as Feralism. No one knows what it is, or how to stop it. But when people get it, their brain begins to degrade, in essence, sending them back primitively and relying more on instinct than logic. With the degradation comes enhanced smell and hearing and strength. But within months, these people can no longer communicate verbally. They can't think logically. They are basically animals. The story follows a girl with this disease, but the progression stops and she's stuck in between being normal human and a wild animal. The Government takes interest in her - she's the only one that is resistant to it. And to find the cure is to possibly kill her. It's also a love story. How could it not be? lol
Here is an excerpt:

“Mr. Brown, please have a seat,” Dr. Vaughn finally said after she calmed down. He did so, and then she sat, folding her arms on her desk and leaning forward slightly.
“Let me try and explain something to you. Erin knows you by smell. Do you understand what that means?”
“Her sense of smell has been heightened by the disease, yes,” He responded, sounding a tad confused.
“You're single, aren’t you?” Angela stated, although it wasn’t exactly a question. She had noticed his bare ring finger earlier.
“Mr. Brown,” Angela leaned back in her chair, trying to think of the best way to approach this, “Animals use their sense of smell to find more than just food,” She finished, letting him figure out the rest. It didn’t take him long to get her meaning.
“She wants to… to…”
“Yes.” Angela answered before he tried to word his question.
He remained silent, realizing the implications in his head.
“I think it will be fine if you continue to work here and deliver her food. However, it must stay as it has been: delivering her meals when she is out in the yard.”
“She’s allowed to have visitors though, correct?” He asked after a moment.
“Supervised. What are you getting at, Mr. Brown?”
“I can visit her after I clock out,” He finished. Angela bristled. Why was he so interested in Erin? Why would he even consider visiting her after what just happened?
Angela's face must have shown disbelief, because the man smiled at her.
"You probably think I'm crazy, but I don't care. I'm not going to avoid her because she's got a condition that she can't control. Besides, she seemed pretty normal to me."
"What? You thought that scene back there... -"
"I'm not talking about that. You didn't see her before that, or yesterday. She was perfectly normal, if a little quiet."
Dr. Vaughn sat up straight in her seat. Erin had behaved herself with him in the room? After how she'd acted to his scent on her bed, Angela was shocked. Maybe there was something more to this man that she wasn't seeing, personally. She told herself to get Dr. Sorenson in there after they were done with this conversation.
"You seem surprised. Shocked that she can act like a human being when you're not poking and prodding her?" He questioned seriously, almost mockingly.
"A little, actually. I might be calling on you again, Mr. Brown. For now, you can go."
She saw him roll his eyes before he quickly got up and walked out.
Angela immediately got on the phone and called Zoey.

Saturday, April 7, 2012

A blog is a memory

A blog is a virtual way to remember things about your life. Once, my parents asked me what the point of blogging was. I told them that it's just a way to keep my memory alive. (I wish I was that profound). Actually, I just explained that it's a way to remember the things that happen to me. It's just a journal that you're willing to share with others. And hell, I don't even have to share it if I don't want to. I choose to. I used to keep a journal up until I was a pre-teen, and then I stopped. I have a huge gap in my memory of my life with Josh and things because I never wrote anything down. My memory is very unreliable. In fact, I've re-read old things I've written, and relished in the fact that I'm glad I wrote them down because I never would have remembered. (I'm not even 28 yet!) My vacations are written on a .doc file (with pictures) listing every single detail I can remember. Both NYC and San Francisco are probably 25 pages long or more. And years later, I will go back and smile as I re-read these things. It's important to me.

Here's a small story of something that I haven't yet forgotten, but one day I will, so I'll write it down.
In High School, PE was pretty serious business. In Junior High, you weren't forced to take a shower (and who would, with a lesbian PE teacher sitting in her office with a perfect view of the showers?) But in High School, it was mandatory. I tried to comply, but I just couldn't take it. I couldn't stand all the other girls looking at me. I was 250 lbs, and so extremely self conscious that even though I had just showered with 15 other girls, I would still get dressed in the bathroom stall. I hated it. (and still, the windows of the PE teacher office stared out at the showers. Why? WHY?) One day, I just refused to do it anymore. The PE teacher came up to me, with warnings that if I didn't comply, I would fail PE. I still refused. She told me that failing PE meant I would have to keep re-talking the class until I passed. I didn't care. Even being a teenager with little understanding of "the consequences to my actions", I knew what this meant. But I also didn't believe that I would have to stay back a grade, or not be able to graduate, if I failed PE. I was a straight-A student. Failing PE wasn't going to be the end all for me. I just didn't understand why it was so damned important. I could understand if I still had to go to another class or something and I was all sweaty and stinky. But, PE was the last class of my day. I told them I would just shower at home. I just didn't get it. I still don't. Why would you fail a student, who gets an A for effort, just for refusing to shower afterwards? Was it some kind of liability issue? Not even that makes sense, considering JH doesn't force you to shower (although, JH PE wasn't nearly as grueling).

Anyway, I was willing to take the F. My self-esteem couldn't handle it anymore. I would hear them whispering about me behind my back. Laughing and giggling at my expense. It's bad enough to be made fun of in high school for being overweight, but then to force you to get naked in front of 15 other girls? What the hell is that? Why is that ever okay? So suddenly, one day, I'm called into the counselor's office. She asked me why I refused to take a shower. I told her. She looked at me and said "I've never had to deal with this before". Are you f-ing kidding me? A fat student doesn't want to flaunt her fat, naked ass in front of 15 other kids, that she sees walking in the hallways or in other classes, and this is new to you? Why are you shocked? Am I really the only one that ever complained, or didn't buckle under the pressure of "You're gonna fail"? Am I the only fat kid in school that cared about how she looks in front of others? Are all the other fat kids so secure in themselves that they just don't care? Some people might say just to buck up and do it because it's part of my grade. But the insecurities that I felt were over-riding everything. I had been fat all my life. Made fun of, or looked at funny, or whispers behind my back every single day. I was teased, and ignored, and taken advantage of. And I'm just going to willingly make that WORSE, by showering naked in front of my peers? I don't think so. The counselor proposed a compromise. I get to leave class 10 minutes early to shower alone before the rest of the class was released. I was okay with this, definitely. I mean, hell yeah I was okay with it. That was 10 minutes less of PE, too. Which, in HS, is 2 hours long. So, for the rest of the trimester I would leave class early, quickly shower, and then change in the bathroom stall. Worked for me.

So anyway, there's a little piece of my history immortalized forever is what is known at the "Internets". Now I'll always remember how shitty I always felt in High School. Yay.

Sunday, April 1, 2012

I Crush on Everything that Moves

Yeah, kind of an odd title, I know. It's also a bit of an exaggeration, but hell, if it grabbed your attention, then cool.
I have no idea if this is normal or not, since I do consider myself pretty weird. I'm glad I'm weird, because weird means I'm not like everybody else, and that's okay. I wouldn't go as far as dressing all emo or goth just to be different, but it's not my style anyway. (My "style" consists of tee shirts and jeans. If they ain't normal, then I don't know what is!)
But, I don't just crush on guys I've never met, or ever will. Hell, that is normal. (A million Twilight fans crushing on Robert Pattinson can't be wrong). The weird part comes in when I never really had any crushes in school... except for a couple of my teachers. Yeah, you heard right. Even in High School, with all these "cute" boys around me, I never paid attention to them. Probably because I knew I wasn't in their league anyway, and a date wasn't going to happen. (That's a bad excuse, Amy. You think a grown-up teacher who is married and possibly has kids would be any different?) No, not really. But, I've always been attracted to older men anyway. Boys my age were just that: boys. At one point, Mom kinda asked if I was a lesbian, because I never dated. Mom, please. I live in the middle of fracking nowhere. 30 minutes from town, probably 20 minutes from any kind of bus stop, and no car. What do you expect? Really, though, I never dated because I just didn't care enough. I had grades and homework to deal with, plus a negative 100 self-esteem. I was about 250 lbs and shy. Nobody was going to ask me out anyway, and I sure as hell wasn't going to ask them. So what did I have left? My ability to crush on my teachers.
I had a number of crushes, but my first one being my Material Science teacher in junior high. He was old enough to basically be my dad. I think he had a kid my age. But, he was funny, which has always been my #1 thing, and I thought he was cute. He was my first MAJOR crush. I found love songs that fit and sang them out loud thinking of him. Like this oldie I finally found on youtube. Yeah, I listened to songs like this in junior high (1997). Don't make fun lol
I also had a crush on a couple of my High School teachers, mostly because they were funny guys. A couple of them who were actually pretty young and quite hot, I didn't have crushes on because they were mean or just not humorous. One such teacher looked a helluva lot like Freddie Prince Jr. I think he taught Economics, which was a class I really abhorred anyway. 
But, my crushes weren't limited to guys that I've met. For a while, I had a crush on Siddig El Fadil (Also known as Alexander Siddig when he changed it). 

Yeah, he looks young in that pic, but remember, I was only 14 or something lol. I loved Deep Space Nine and that British accent just KILLED me. Man. After I was done with him, I began crushing on Jake Gyllenhaal. 

He was a lot closer to my actual age, at least lol. This didn't occur until I graduated and was living out in the world. I'd rented or bought (when I couldn't find a rental) every one of his movies. But, my crushes never went as far as to try to contact or meet them in any way. I was cool with just watching them on screen.
Then... there was Alton Brown. Yeah, I know. Anybody reading this blog that doesn't know who the man is by now, doesn't know me at all. Ha! 

Yeah, that's his plane; a 414a. It's not a jet because 
he's not a celebrity, just a cable-ebrity. (his words)

This is a man where I'm not just crushing on his ability to act a part (in other words, I basically only liked Siddig and Jake for their looks), but his personality. The man is hilarious. And very smart. And to top it off, he has/had the spiky hair, which I just love. He's freaking hot, and I'm not the only one that thinks so. Yeah, he's turning 50 this year. Yeah, I'm almost only 28. But, that hasn't stopped me before! He's not just cute, but he's my idol. He not only taught me how to cook, but to enjoy it. He really did change my life, and he's my hero - honestly! And the best part is, I've been able to meet him in person... four times! And I have things in my possession that he has signed :). 

One of the many items, but this is by far my favorite

And as the icing on the cake... he's on Twitter... and is following me! I mean, how cool is that? Alton is a major major crush. Like, serious. I can kinda crush on other actors or guys a little bit (Like Hal. He's a cutie), but I can only have one serious crush at a time. And I don't think this one will be going away for a while.
But I'm weird; and I'm okay with that.