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Sunday, April 1, 2012

I Crush on Everything that Moves

Yeah, kind of an odd title, I know. It's also a bit of an exaggeration, but hell, if it grabbed your attention, then cool.
I have no idea if this is normal or not, since I do consider myself pretty weird. I'm glad I'm weird, because weird means I'm not like everybody else, and that's okay. I wouldn't go as far as dressing all emo or goth just to be different, but it's not my style anyway. (My "style" consists of tee shirts and jeans. If they ain't normal, then I don't know what is!)
But, I don't just crush on guys I've never met, or ever will. Hell, that is normal. (A million Twilight fans crushing on Robert Pattinson can't be wrong). The weird part comes in when I never really had any crushes in school... except for a couple of my teachers. Yeah, you heard right. Even in High School, with all these "cute" boys around me, I never paid attention to them. Probably because I knew I wasn't in their league anyway, and a date wasn't going to happen. (That's a bad excuse, Amy. You think a grown-up teacher who is married and possibly has kids would be any different?) No, not really. But, I've always been attracted to older men anyway. Boys my age were just that: boys. At one point, Mom kinda asked if I was a lesbian, because I never dated. Mom, please. I live in the middle of fracking nowhere. 30 minutes from town, probably 20 minutes from any kind of bus stop, and no car. What do you expect? Really, though, I never dated because I just didn't care enough. I had grades and homework to deal with, plus a negative 100 self-esteem. I was about 250 lbs and shy. Nobody was going to ask me out anyway, and I sure as hell wasn't going to ask them. So what did I have left? My ability to crush on my teachers.
I had a number of crushes, but my first one being my Material Science teacher in junior high. He was old enough to basically be my dad. I think he had a kid my age. But, he was funny, which has always been my #1 thing, and I thought he was cute. He was my first MAJOR crush. I found love songs that fit and sang them out loud thinking of him. Like this oldie I finally found on youtube. Yeah, I listened to songs like this in junior high (1997). Don't make fun lol
I also had a crush on a couple of my High School teachers, mostly because they were funny guys. A couple of them who were actually pretty young and quite hot, I didn't have crushes on because they were mean or just not humorous. One such teacher looked a helluva lot like Freddie Prince Jr. I think he taught Economics, which was a class I really abhorred anyway. 
But, my crushes weren't limited to guys that I've met. For a while, I had a crush on Siddig El Fadil (Also known as Alexander Siddig when he changed it). 

Yeah, he looks young in that pic, but remember, I was only 14 or something lol. I loved Deep Space Nine and that British accent just KILLED me. Man. After I was done with him, I began crushing on Jake Gyllenhaal. 

He was a lot closer to my actual age, at least lol. This didn't occur until I graduated and was living out in the world. I'd rented or bought (when I couldn't find a rental) every one of his movies. But, my crushes never went as far as to try to contact or meet them in any way. I was cool with just watching them on screen.
Then... there was Alton Brown. Yeah, I know. Anybody reading this blog that doesn't know who the man is by now, doesn't know me at all. Ha! 

Yeah, that's his plane; a 414a. It's not a jet because 
he's not a celebrity, just a cable-ebrity. (his words)

This is a man where I'm not just crushing on his ability to act a part (in other words, I basically only liked Siddig and Jake for their looks), but his personality. The man is hilarious. And very smart. And to top it off, he has/had the spiky hair, which I just love. He's freaking hot, and I'm not the only one that thinks so. Yeah, he's turning 50 this year. Yeah, I'm almost only 28. But, that hasn't stopped me before! He's not just cute, but he's my idol. He not only taught me how to cook, but to enjoy it. He really did change my life, and he's my hero - honestly! And the best part is, I've been able to meet him in person... four times! And I have things in my possession that he has signed :). 

One of the many items, but this is by far my favorite

And as the icing on the cake... he's on Twitter... and is following me! I mean, how cool is that? Alton is a major major crush. Like, serious. I can kinda crush on other actors or guys a little bit (Like Hal. He's a cutie), but I can only have one serious crush at a time. And I don't think this one will be going away for a while.
But I'm weird; and I'm okay with that.


  1. see, you just addmited to stalking your boytoy!!!

    1. I did not! Where did I say that? Have i been to his house, huh? Have I hung around after a book signing and followed him to his hotel? THAT, my friend, is stalking. I do not have a stalker's bone in my body. ;)

    2. Btw, do you remember that teacher I'm talking about that looks like Freddie Prince Jr? You probably didn't have his class, but I swear he was only 23 or 24 and looked exactly like him. He was an ass lol