The Ten Best Reasons to Live Alone

I am trying to convince myself that it’s a good thing! Here we go!

       1.     I can cook whatever I want, when I want, however I want.

Oh wait, I think I need money for that.

       2.    I only have to clean up after myself!

No one can clean up after me. Darn.

 3.     I can decorate my place however I want.

…I was already doing that before.

This isn’t working. Be more creative!

4.    No one to hog the computer or the TV

Yeah, that’s better.

      5.     I get the huge bed all to myself!

It’s a very big bed.

      6.    Someone needs to come over and kill spiders for me.

      Wait, that’s not how this works.

      7.    I can talk to myself in peace!

       …

       8.   I can invite people over and party whenever I want and play my music as loud – no wait, I live in an apartment. But I can still PAR-TAY.

If I had more friends.

Okay, I’m sounding pretty pathetic. But I’m not. I’m a fierce, independent woman! Hear me ROAR.

      9.    I can write in pure silence.

Okay, now we’re talkin’.

10.   I need a cat.