1. I have a fear of being alone. Not just in my life, but in general. Day to day. I've spent the majority of my life with someone; whether it be my parents, Josh, or Justin. Now don't get me wrong, I relish my time alone. I'm actually alone quite a lot. I sequester myself in my room and do my own thing. When Justin was at work, I'd take that time to write because I needed silence in order to concentrate. But as the days stack upon one another and I am by myself in an apartment, I start to not enjoy it as much. I was only alone for 3 months out of my entire life, and although I felt independent and free, in the background I just wanted company and someone to do things with. I feel as though I need someone to be there for me. I also can't do normal activities by myself, like seeing a movie or going to a restaurant. I'm not sure if it's because I fear that people will judge me, or I just think it would be no fun unless I had some company. Either way, this fear holds me back quite a lot.
2. I have a fear of getting Alzheimer's, and/or my mother getting Alzheimer's. My maternal Grandmother died of the disease. I watched as my Grandma forgot who people were, and when she forgot who her own daughter was, my mother, I couldn't even imagine how painful that must have been for her. I wasn't too incredibly close to my Grandma, and although it hurt that she didn't remember me, I kind of expected it and was okay with it. But I don't know what I would do if my mother forgot who I was. I am so close to both my parents that it would just be extremely hard for me to cope, I think. I also fear of getting it myself because my memory is already pretty bad... much worse than a normal 29-year-old's should be. And it's been bad for years already. Hopefully by the time I am my Grandmother's age, they'll have a cure or some kind of vaccine for it.
3. Spiders. Yeah, I touched on this subject in my last post. I don't know if I'd call this a legit fear, as I live in the one area of the US that has no poisonous creatures. Well, at least none that would kill you. We do have these nasty things called Hobo spiders though. They are related to the brown recluse and get mistaken for them all the time. They have the same kind of necrotic poison on their fangs that eats your skin and won't heal. The Hobo looks like some kind of spider that sat in radioactivity or something because they are so huge. That was my first thought the first time I ever saw one. They are easily the largest spiders we have here in western Washington. Luckily their poison isn't as potent as a brown recluse. But they're funnel web, hunting spiders, and they're damn fast. They scare the shit out of me every time I see one. I'm scared of other spiders too, but not nearly as bad as those monsters.
Day 1: List 10 random facts about yourself