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Friday, May 31, 2013

Day 4: List 5 things you would tell your 16 year-old self

Number One: The first thing that comes to mind is saving Josh's life. I would tell myself that in a year, you are going to meet someone very special, and you will fall in love with him. But he has health issues... and when he gets sick, make sure you get him to a hospital right away - don't hesitate, regardless of whether or not you think you can pay the damn bill.
In the past, I have questioned whether or not I would actually do this if I could, which sounds very mean and heartless. I mean, if I was given the option to go back I definitely would do this. But the question remains, I've seen how my future has turned out as a direct result of this. And besides Josh himself, I was not very happy; with my body or my job. Things would have turned out much differently had I saved his life. You just never know.

Number Two: Teach a boy a valuable lesson. Back in High School, both my friend Monica and I were teased by the popular students. But in math class one day, it went above and beyond stupid. Obviously we were both overweight, unpopular, and probably considered quite ugly among the student population. So, when a boy came up to both of us (we were sitting next to each other in class) and started "flirting" while you could hear the other students snickering in the background, we wanted nothing to do with it. We tried to ignore him, but then he swept his grubby fingers over my hand. I recoiled and told him to go away.
Besides the first one, this is one of the biggest regrets of my teenage life. I should have immediately gone to the Principal and filed harassment charges. A bit extreme? Of course. But those jackasses think they can get away with anything, and all I wanted to do was say "don't mess with us, a-holes".

Number Three: Watch Good Eats! Yeah, that show has been around since I was in the 9th grade (1999), so it was definitely on when I was 16. Back then, I abhorred cooking in all forms. And I think my weight gain beyond high school had a bit to do with my lack of cooking knowledge when I moved out. I'd tell myself (and I'm sure I'd be very hard to convince, since cooking shows were the most boring thing on the planet) that I would love this program and learn a lot from it, and it would be worth it. I often wished I would have discovered it long before 2009.

Number Four: Don't ignore your weight problem. This would be the hardest thing to convince myself to do. You become overweight, and you get made fun of constantly, and instead of getting revved up with "I gotta lose it!" you get depressed and you just don't care anymore. Especially when you're forced to exercise at school, work up a huge sweat, and not lose a pound, it gets really discouraging. And it's not just the weight you end up not caring about, but it's also your looks in general. Shopping for clothes is a chore - just get whatever fits. Make up? Why bother, you're ugly anyway. As soon as I dropped the weight (thanks to hCG; ad placement goes here!) I began to care a lot more about how the world looked at me. I still don't really wear make up because it's annoying, but I care more about what I'm wearing because it's easier to find clothes now. And I just take better care of myself in general. Had I started this process earlier in life, things might have been easier for me.

Number Five: No idea. I've been thinking on this for days, and I have nothing more to add. The problem is, had I saved Josh's life, my near future would be so drastically different that I wouldn't be able to warn myself about anything else. Watching Star Trek Into Darkness has made me realize that even though I may not believe in fate exactly, that doesn't mean things in life wouldn't somehow head along that same path in a similar way. Just because I saved Josh from his heart attack back in 2005, doesn't mean he wouldn't die from it later, or maybe something else horrible would have happened in its place. You just never know.

Day 3: What is the Greatest Amount of Physical Pain You've Ever Endured?
Day 2: List 3 Legitimate Fears
Day 1: List 10 Random Facts About Yourself

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