So, as you can imagine, Alton has changed my life in more ways than I can even list. So, when tickets to his so-called "variety show" hit the booths for Seattle back in June of 2014 (for a Feb 21st 2015 show!) I was ready. Well, I thought I was. The VIP tickets had sold out in less than 2 minutes, so I had to settle for regular seats. Not only regular seats, but the first 20 some-odd rows were already sold out within 10 minutes. My friend and I (who I hadn't determined at the time but I knew I wanted someone to go with me so I was buying two tickets regardless) had to settle for row S on one of the sides of the theater.
As it turns out, the seats were still pretty good. And either Seattle loves Alton more than any other city on his list, or the Paramount Theater is absurdly small, because the first show had sold out so he had to add another, earlier show as well. But to our amazement (my second half now being Monica as I figured she would enjoy going. She is just slightly less obsessed over the man than I am.) No one had bought the seat next to Monica, and I had two empty seats next to me. Score-sauce!
The show itself was the funniest thing I have seen in ages. Maybe even ever. Monica thinks I'm biased. After all, I do crush on him pretty hard. But I really don't think I am. That man is fucking hilarious. He knows how to write/tell stories, and gives enough delicious detail to be able to get his audience to picture it all. Stories about him and his daughter are always a riot. One of the funniest parts was Alton teasing the sign language interpreter in the corner. He broke the 4th wall on more than one occasion trying to talk directly to her, putting off a couple hilarious jabs in the process and making her laugh.
****WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD****
He also had two demonstrations. The first one required a fire extinguisher, three ten-gallon jugs taped end to end, and chocolate ice cream-base. He made a gallon of ice cream in under 30 seconds. And shared none of it, except to his helper that did nothing but pull the trigger and let go at the appropriate time. Lucky bastard.
The other one probably cost the theater a fortune in electric costs, as he took several stadium lights and plugged them together in a steal frame around a conveyor belt. Deemed the Mega Bake, it would cook two pizzas in under 4 minutes. The helper he chose this time was female, and a fairly sassy one at that. She knew about food, but I think she was nervous as he was explaining the process of making the pizza dough. When he asked her what kind of flour that was, she said "white". But when he asked what kind of corn meal that was, she said "yellow" and at least that was mostly correct! lol One of Alton's best comedic features is his ability to think on his toes and always has a witty comeback, which always makes for an entertaining outcome. One of the best lines came from the lady though, I think her name was Michelle. Once the pizzas were done, he asked her which one she wanted to try: his or hers. "Yes." was her reply. The cheese was so stringy that Alton was pulling it off several feet at a time. He put one end in his mouth and to everyone's amusement and amazement, picked up the other half of the string of cheese and handed it to Michelle, who immediately began the Lady and the Tramp moment. Lucky! Unfortunately, he cut that off real quick lol. Oh well.
The only slight disappointment were the songs. Yes, they were clever and witty, but for all of Alton's good points, singing isn't really one of them. He can play the guitar, which is sexy as hell, but that's about it, unfortunately!
The show was still worth every penny though, and was definitely worth waiting 8 months for! (Technically, more like a year and 8 months, as he'd done a tour previously but had come no where near Washington the first time). If you're still waiting to see it, you surely won't be disappointed!