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Saturday, June 30, 2012

Everything I Know I Learned on Acid

No, I don't use acid. Nor have I used any illegal substance. However, as I was cleaning my bookshelf, I found an old piece of paper from my school years. I had written down quotes from a book my teacher had with that title.
I will now reproduce them here so that I don't need that grungy yellowed piece of paper any longer!

"Every decision you make is a mistake." - Edward Dahlberg

"We don't need no stinkin' badges." - Treasure of the Sierra Madre

"Oh well, no matter what happens there's always death." - Napoleon

"Good resolutions are useless attempts to interfere with scientific laws." - Oscar Wilde

"Give me chastity and abstinence, O Lord, but not today." - St. Augustine

"I never indulge in rhyme or stanza unless I'm in bed with influenza." - Quintus Ennius

"The best way to fill time is to waste it." - Marguerite Duras

"I don't even know what street Canada is on." - Al Capone

"There are moments when everything goes well; don't be frightened, it won't last." - Jules Renard

"If you keep a thing for seven years, you are sure to find a use for it." - Sir Walter Scott

"The formula 'two and two make five' is not without its attractions." - Fyodor Dostoevsky

"The truth is silly putty." - Paul Krassner

"It's all the same fucking day, man." - Janis Joplin

"Miami Beach is where neon goes to die." - Lenny Bruce

"Everything tries to be round." - Black Elk Speaks

"Money costs too much." - Ross McDonald

"Somebody got lucky, but it was an accident." - Bob Dylan

"Take eloquence and wring its neck!" - Paul Verlaine

"A wop-bop-a-lula-a-wop-bam-boom!" - Little Richard

"It's the truth, even if it didn't happen." - Ken Kesey

"I hate the sun, but it's nice to know it's there." - Johnny Rotten

"If I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone?" -James Thurber

"On my gravestone, I want it to say 'I told you I was sick'. Achievement is for senators and scholars. At one time I had ambitions but I had them removed by a doctor in Buffalo." - Tom Waits

"Anything awful makes me laugh. I misbehaved once at a funeral." - Charles Lamb

"Sigh! No weed in a month! I guess I might as well accept that athletic scholarship to Notre Dame and study business economics after all!" - Gilbert Shelton

"I smash guitars because I like them." - Pete Townshend

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