There are a number of people that think that cats can't be trained, and besides the fact that I had taught Angel how to twirl and bat my hand for her treat, training isn't just about teaching them tricks. Training is about showing a cat what is safe.
Pixel is a very scared boy. He's a bit more timid than Angel was when we first got her. He hasn't had much of a life so far being only 2 (while we got Angel when she was 10. She had, I believe, one owner who had died), but it's been pretty eventful. From what the shelter told us, he was born in a barn as a semi-feral kitten and brought to the shelter. He was adopted by a family who wanted to socialize a scared kitten, and apparently this was where he was until he was almost 2. Then he escaped, and the family apparently didn't bother to look for him and when he was brought to the shelter they stated they had moved to a place that didn't accept cats. So for 3 weeks he was back at the shelter, and plastered into a corner. It sounds to me as if his previous owners treated him like an accessory as opposed to a family member, and I'm going to guess that he might not have felt safe or secure in his previous territory. It's taking him a while to open up with us.
But I am writing this for a reason - I would like to put some information out there to help potential adopters in situations like these. First of all, I would like to scream from the rooftops:
DON'T PASS UP THE SHY ONES
Like I mentioned in my previous post, Angel never came out of her cubby when we did our meet and greet. All the information we got for her was from her foster mom and the shelter. And she was the sweetest, most chill and amazing cat in the world. I know it can be hard when the animals you're looking at in the cages don't literally jump out at you, become chatty and rub up against you and want to play. But I find shy cats to be the best cuddlers, if that's what you're looking for. It can just take them a little time to get used to their surroundings, and I have tips (learned from experience and from Jackson Galaxy) to get them to open up to you.
1. Find a space that is quiet and dark, away from the hustle and bustle of life, and set up a "base camp". In our case, it was our office. We had a cat pod in our closet for him to hide in and feel safe. We put his food, water, and litterbox in there and left him alone for a while. I came to visit every couple of hours or so to make sure he knew he wasn't abandoned, and I only did things that wouldn't make him nervous (kept my distance, didn't attempt to pet him or anything. Just spoke softly to him).
2. Being able to read body language is key, here. Do not do anything that makes your cat uncomfortable or nervous. Remember, they don't know you, they don't trust you, and you don't want to start off on the wrong foot. They are in a territory they haven't marked as their own, so it's unfamiliar, and to them - unsafe. Remember that cats are both predator and prey. It's important to understand that, unlike dogs, they can feel threatened by unknowns because they are prey animals.
3. Let them sniff you. You can use something with your scent on it if they back away from your hand (always present knuckles first, not with fingers). Glasses are a good one. Do not "lord" over them, in other words, get down to their level so you don't appear threatening. Try the slow blink. It's called the "cat I love you", because if they blink at you, it means they trust you enough to close their eyes with you around. This is an important step. You're letting them know that you trust them by closing your eyes to them, and if they do the same, then that's a great start.
4. Once they start feeling as if the place might be safe, they will do a little exploration, probably while you're not around. Every time I came in to visit Pixel, he was in a different hiding spot, and as I discovered these, I masked them off so that he couldn't go back to them. He had a safe space in the cat pod, and we wanted him to use that if he got scared. They probably won't feel safe enough to eat or drink for a while, but their instincts will get the best of them eventually and they'll have some food once they feel safe enough. (If cats don't eat any food in a 24 hour period, it can be dangerous to their liver, so make sure you monitor this).
5. If you decide to go in for pets, make sure you calm them first by speaking softly, doing a few slow blinks, and reaching out slowly - knuckles first. Do not try to do an open hand above their head. Most cats don't like this if they don't trust you. Keep your pets soft and around the face. Stroke the cheeks, or try for chin scratches. Don't venture beyond this area at first unless you believe they seem comfortable. You can try it, and if they try to back away, swish their tail around quickly, put their ears back, growl or hiss, you'll know they're not ready and don't try this again for a while. Respect their space; this will allow them to trust you more if you don't force any interaction. Give them the capacity to choose - this is very important. Note: If they rub their cheek against your hand, you've won a gold star. This is what I call the cat handshake (this might be Jackson's words I don't remember), they are putting their scent on you, marking you as safe, and letting you know they're accepting your pets.
5. Eventually, they'll be curious as to what lies beyond the closed door once they feel comfortable in their current digs. This is where you introduce the challenge line. Some cats will explore if you leave the door open for them, but some decide that their space is safe and it's all they need. At this point, there's a few things you can do.
#1 Try feeding them either at the open door, or just the other side of it, and see if they're willing to go that far for their food. If this works, keep moving the food dish further out each time you feed them.
#2 Try treats! Jackson calls it the "jackpot treat", it's the treat you only give them when you are training them, and something they can not get enough of, if you happen to know what that is.
#3 Take something that they've soaked their scent into while in their base camp; a cat tree or a cat bed for example, and move it out into the next room. This gives them a sense of security because they will smell their scent in the next room and believe it safe. In our case, since the cat pod has his scent all over it and he feels safe in there, we moved it to the living room. If he gets spooked (and they will - at first, every little noise will scare them) he can run to his pod instead of running back into the office.
#4 Try playing with them. Once they are focused on a toy, begin to move them to and beyond their challenge line. They will be too distracted to notice. Once they notice, they might run back, but that's okay, it may take a few tries.
6. This is where you might have to employ some tough love. Some cats will keep finding safety in their old base camp, trying to hide in the closet, or just planting themselves at a place in their base camp even though they've come out into the other rooms. You can't encourage this behavior by letting them stay there forever. It doesn't do them any favors to claim only a corner of such a large territory. They need to explore and claim all of it for them to be completely comfortable and not potentially exhibit undesirable territorial behaviors such as marking (with pee, in case you didn't know!).
7. You'll want to block off their old areas of safety. Don't be mean, here. You still want to give them a safe space, like a cat pod, while taking away other places. This is where Catification of your home comes into play. You want them to become comfortable in the new area, so give them places to hang out in safely, like shelves high up on the walls, or a tall cat tree and the like so they can view their territory from high up without feeling threatened. Try playing with them and get them into the center of the room. This is key because prey animals feel more comfortable in closed in spaces, so getting your cat out into the open this way is a great training tool.
8. You always want to employ positive reinforcement. This probably should have been higher up on my list lol. But negative reinforcement never works on a cat. It will damage or even break the bond you've built, and they won't understand why you're yelling at them. As Jackson has always said, for every 'no', present a 'yes'. Believe it or not, cats don't hold grudges. They're not that complex. If they do something you think is wrong, they have no idea; they're just doing what their instinct tells them to do. So, present an alterative to the behavior you don't like. Examples include:
Scratching the furniture. You can buy double-sided sticky tape for the area, or a plastic cover which will dissuade them. You can buy a scratching post for right next to it, or even spray the area with a smell most cats don't like, like citrus. There are a lot of options. When they use the scratching post instead of your couch, make sure to shower them with praise and give them a treat. The positive association will help them learn.
Peeing or pooping outside the litterbox. A lot of people think that cats do this on purpose, like because they're angry with you or something. No. Again, they are not that complex. It's usually one of two things: either a medical issue, or an insecurity issue. If they've been going in the litterbox just fine and then suddenly they aren't, and you haven't changed to a different litter and have kept it clean, it might be a medical issue. Maybe it hurts to go to the bathroom and they associate that hurt with the litterbox. Taking them to the vet would be a good idea in this case, especially if you notice other issues like mowing at the box, or straining, or blood. The other situation would be some kind of insecurity, either inside or outside the home. For example, marking and peeing are ways for a cat to tell other cats that this place is there's. If they see other cats outside through the window, they might become insecure and go to the bathroom outside of the box. There are numerous issues that might cause this insecurity, but the point is not to jump to conclusions and think that the cat is just "getting back at you for something you did" or other such nonsense. That's just not how it works.
Hopefully all of this helps you and makes you more confident in getting a cat that might not look the most sociable on the outside. They want loves, just like any other cat! They just make take a bit longer to come out of their shell.
