Texas Trip Day 1

4/4/24    

    Strap in folks... this is going to be a long one. This is the longest vacation I've ever had, and it's not often I leave the state at all. The whole reason for this vacation (which was being planned if not physically, but mentally since the day after the Aug 2017 total eclipse) was the total eclipse that was going to hit the central/eastern coast of the US on 4/8/24. But the reason I chose Texas as my destination over anywhere else was because of my friend, Matty. This was someone who I had met over Twitter while bonding over our mutual obsession with Alton Brown nearly 12 years ago. We had never met in person, and he lived near Houston, Texas. I figured Texas was going to have the best weather in April anyway.

    As I began to plan this out, I knew it was going to be close to my 40th birthday so I figured I had time to save up a bunch of money and make this trip into a celebration for myself as well. I wanted a vacation where I wouldn't have to worry about how much money was being spent, and I could do basically whatever I wanted and not have to be concerned about finances. In the meantime, I met my partner, Patrick, and got married, so he became a part of the plan as well. Which I'm super glad for because while I was willing to do this trip on my own, I was extremely trepidatious about it.

    As I began to plan it physically, I secured my hotel for San Antonio because Fredericksburg (the town) was freaking out. When we called them to inquire about getting a hotel for the eclipse, they said that the town was planning on imposing a 4-night minimum stay at about $500 a night. I do hope they lost out on a ton of business. While the hotel I chose was still in the path of totality (it was a basic Days Inn with a 2 night stay of a whopping $180 since I got it well in advance), it wasn't near the center line so I could still get closer. The only difference would be the length of totality. While (west) San Antonio was roughly 2 minutes long, the center line would last over 4 minutes. For picture-taking, that's pretty significant. 

    After making my reservations for San Antonio, I would now be able to plan everything else around it. I ended up tacking on 2 days in Houston prior and flying there instead of SA because the airline tickets were getting a bit crazy flying to anywhere near the path of totality. Spend two days in SA, two days in Corpus Christi, and two days in Galveston before flying out of Houston on 4/12. I made plans to do a lot of cool stuff so if for some reason we couldn't see the eclipse, at least we would have a bunch of other things planned that were exciting.

[I'm going to go ahead and tell you now so you're not in suspense. No, we didn't get to see the eclipse. We had considered going to Uvalde, right on the center line, but the Texas weather was changing (I swear) every 20 minutes. I didn't actually decide not to drive down there until the night before. It was going to be completely cloudy both in SA and Uvalde, but SA had a slightly better chance of clearing, plus we would save $50 for a parking spot, and an extra hour of driving to Corpus Christi after the event. Not to mention the potential for heavy traffic. Only places further north saw clearer skies, including my co-worker Dora who was currently in Dallas. We were just unlucky.]

    So anyway, 4/4 was basically a travel day. We used the Premier Van Shuttle service, which turned out to be pretty cool. They pick you up right at your residence and drop you off at your gate and visa versa on the way back. The flight out was a 2pm. The only downsides to the flight was my window being mostly over the wing, and a crying baby directly behind me for probably 50% of it. The noise-cancelling earbuds helped with that somewhat. 

    We arrived after dark thanks to the 2 hour time change, and this was our first experience using the Turo rental car app service. Because we were going to be road-tripping, I wanted to be able to, you know, choose what vehicle I wanted to drive, which is hard to do with a typical rental car agency. Plus, who wants to wait in a long line at the airport just to be hounded by reps trying to scare you into buying all that extra insurance, and tacking on fees? (FYI, State Farm offers UNOC coverage - and no I don't know what that stands for - but basically it's an add-on to your own car insurance. As long as you have full coverage, your rental will be covered in an accident, however it doesn't cover any profit loss from damage to a vehicle taken out of service to be fixed and stuff like that. Plus I had charged it to my Costco card, which can cover as a secondary to the State Farm if the car got damaged in some way.) 

    Anyway, I digress. It was an interesting process getting the vehicle. We took a shuttle to the ecopark and found it in the parking spot provided by the owner. It was a 2024 Buick Envista Avenir, which I chose (after the vehicle I had initially wanted, a 2023 Toyota Crown, was damaged and unavailable for the trip) due to its comfortable ride and advanced safety features like adaptive cruise control. We had to take several interior and exterior shots of the vehicle, including any prior damage we found so the owner couldn't pin it on us if it came back that way. (Another FYI - this is a good practice to have with rental car agencies as well, as they're even more likely to pin you with damage you didn't actually cause). Setup with google maps was a breeze and we were quickly on our way to the hotel after that - to get some sleep because it was past 9:30pm local time by that point.

Day 2

    

How to Train your Drag- I mean Cat

    There are a number of people that think that cats can't be trained, and besides the fact that I had taught Angel how to twirl and bat my hand for her treat, training isn't just about teaching them tricks. Training is about showing a cat what is safe.

    Pixel is a very scared boy. He's a bit more timid than Angel was when we first got her. He hasn't had much of a life so far being only 2 (while we got Angel when she was 10. She had, I believe, one owner who had died), but it's been pretty eventful. From what the shelter told us, he was born in a barn as a semi-feral kitten and brought to the shelter. He was adopted by a family who wanted to socialize a scared kitten, and apparently this was where he was until he was almost 2. Then he escaped, and the family apparently didn't bother to look for him and when he was brought to the shelter they stated they had moved to a place that didn't accept cats. So for 3 weeks he was back at the shelter, and plastered into a corner. It sounds to me as if his previous owners treated him like an accessory as opposed to a family member, and I'm going to guess that he might not have felt safe or secure in his previous territory. It's taking him a while to open up with us. 

    But I am writing this for a reason - I would like to put some information out there to help potential adopters in situations like these. First of all, I would like to scream from the rooftops:

DON'T PASS UP THE SHY ONES

    Like I mentioned in my previous post, Angel never came out of her cubby when we did our meet and greet. All the information we got for her was from her foster mom and the shelter. And she was the sweetest, most chill and amazing cat in the world. I know it can be hard when the animals you're looking at in the cages don't literally jump out at you, become chatty and rub up against you and want to play. But I find shy cats to be the best cuddlers, if that's what you're looking for. It can just take them a little time to get used to their surroundings, and I have tips (learned from experience and from Jackson Galaxy) to get them to open up to you.

    1. Find a space that is quiet and dark, away from the hustle and bustle of life, and set up a "base camp". In our case, it was our office. We had a cat pod in our closet for him to hide in and feel safe. We put his food, water, and litterbox in there and left him alone for a while. I came to visit every couple of hours or so to make sure he knew he wasn't abandoned, and I only did things that wouldn't make him nervous (kept my distance, didn't attempt to pet him or anything. Just spoke softly to him).

    2. Being able to read body language is key, here. Do not do anything that makes your cat uncomfortable or nervous. Remember, they don't know you, they don't trust you, and you don't want to start off on the wrong foot. They are in a territory they haven't marked as their own, so it's unfamiliar, and to them - unsafe. Remember that cats are both predator and prey. It's important to understand that, unlike dogs, they can feel threatened by unknowns because they are prey animals. 

    3. Let them sniff you. You can use something with your scent on it if they back away from your hand (always present knuckles first, not with fingers). Glasses are a good one. Do not "lord" over them, in other words, get down to their level so you don't appear threatening. Try the slow blink. It's called the "cat I love you", because if they blink at you, it means they trust you enough to close their eyes with you around. This is an important step. You're letting them know that you trust them by closing your eyes to them, and if they do the same, then that's a great start. 

    4. Once they start feeling as if the place might be safe, they will do a little exploration, probably while you're not around. Every time I came in to visit Pixel, he was in a different hiding spot, and as I discovered these, I masked them off so that he couldn't go back to them. He had a safe space in the cat pod, and we wanted him to use that if he got scared. They probably won't feel safe enough to eat or drink for a while, but their instincts will get the best of them eventually and they'll have some food once they feel safe enough. (If cats don't eat any food in a 24 hour period, it can be dangerous to their liver, so make sure you monitor this).

    5. If you decide to go in for pets, make sure you calm them first by speaking softly, doing a few slow blinks, and reaching out slowly - knuckles first. Do not try to do an open hand above their head. Most cats don't like this if they don't trust you. Keep your pets soft and around the face. Stroke the cheeks, or try for chin scratches. Don't venture beyond this area at first unless you believe they seem comfortable. You can try it, and if they try to back away, swish their tail around quickly, put their ears back, growl or hiss, you'll know they're not ready and don't try this again for a while. Respect their space; this will allow them to trust you more if you don't force any interaction. Give them the capacity to choose - this is very important. Note: If they rub their cheek against your hand, you've won a gold star. This is what I call the cat handshake (this might be Jackson's words I don't remember), they are putting their scent on you, marking you as safe, and letting you know they're accepting your pets.

    5. Eventually, they'll be curious as to what lies beyond the closed door once they feel comfortable in their current digs. This is where you introduce the challenge line. Some cats will explore if you leave the door open for them, but some decide that their space is safe and it's all they need. At this point, there's a few things you can do.

    #1 Try feeding them either at the open door, or just the other side of it, and see if they're willing to go that far for their food. If this works, keep moving the food dish further out each time you feed them.

    #2 Try treats! Jackson calls it the "jackpot treat", it's the treat you only give them when you are training them, and something they can not get enough of, if you happen to know what that is.

    #3 Take something that they've soaked their scent into while in their base camp; a cat tree or a cat bed for example, and move it out into the next room. This gives them a sense of security because they will smell their scent in the next room and believe it safe. In our case, since the cat pod has his scent all over it and he feels safe in there, we moved it to the living room. If he gets spooked (and they will - at first, every little noise will scare them) he can run to his pod instead of running back into the office.

    #4 Try playing with them. Once they are focused on a toy, begin to move them to and beyond their challenge line. They will be too distracted to notice. Once they notice, they might run back, but that's okay, it may take a few tries.

    6. This is where you might have to employ some tough love. Some cats will keep finding safety in their old base camp, trying to hide in the closet, or just planting themselves at a place in their base camp even though they've come out into the other rooms. You can't encourage this behavior by letting them stay there forever. It doesn't do them any favors to claim only a corner of such a large territory. They need to explore and claim all of it for them to be completely comfortable and not potentially exhibit undesirable territorial behaviors such as marking (with pee, in case you didn't know!). 

    7. You'll want to block off their old areas of safety. Don't be mean, here. You still want to give them a safe space, like a cat pod, while taking away other places. This is where Catification of your home comes into play. You want them to become comfortable in the new area, so give them places to hang out in safely, like shelves high up on the walls, or a tall cat tree and the like so they can view their territory from high up without feeling threatened. Try playing with them and get them into the center of the room. This is key because prey animals feel more comfortable in closed in spaces, so getting your cat out into the open this way is a great training tool. 

    8. You always want to employ positive reinforcement. This probably should have been higher up on my list lol. But negative reinforcement never works on a cat. It will damage or even break the bond you've built, and they won't understand why you're yelling at them. As Jackson has always said, for every 'no', present a 'yes'. Believe it or not, cats don't hold grudges. They're not that complex. If they do something you think is wrong, they have no idea; they're just doing what their instinct tells them to do. So, present an alterative to the behavior you don't like. Examples include:

    Scratching the furniture. You can buy double-sided sticky tape for the area, or a plastic cover which will dissuade them. You can buy a scratching post for right next to it, or even spray the area with a smell most cats don't like, like citrus. There are a lot of options. When they use the scratching post instead of your couch, make sure to shower them with praise and give them a treat. The positive association will help them learn.

    Peeing or pooping outside the litterbox. A lot of people think that cats do this on purpose, like because they're angry with you or something. No. Again, they are not that complex. It's usually one of two things: either a medical issue, or an insecurity issue. If they've been going in the litterbox just fine and then suddenly they aren't, and you haven't changed to a different litter and have kept it clean, it might be a medical issue. Maybe it hurts to go to the bathroom and they associate that hurt with the litterbox. Taking them to the vet would be a good idea in this case, especially if you notice other issues like mowing at the box, or straining, or blood. The other situation would be some kind of insecurity, either inside or outside the home. For example, marking and peeing are ways for a cat to tell other cats that this place is there's. If they see other cats outside through the window, they might become insecure and go to the bathroom outside of the box. There are numerous issues that might cause this insecurity, but the point is not to jump to conclusions and think that the cat is just "getting back at you for something you did" or other such nonsense. That's just not how it works.

    Hopefully all of this helps you and makes you more confident in getting a cat that might not look the most sociable on the outside. They want loves, just like any other cat! They just make take a bit longer to come out of their shell.

Angel in Heaven

    Only a few months after Daisy's passing, I felt compelled to start looking for another feline companion. When I saw (then named) Angie's profile picture I immediately fell in love. They described her as a loving, affectionate and calm 10 year old kitty who preferred quiet places and slow paces. She was perfect. When we went to see her in person, she was in a hidey-hole and obviously didn't trust us. She had recently lost her human companion and none of the family could keep her, so she was brought to the shelter to find a new home. As soon as we were given a churu to have her try, she ate it so eagerly we were afraid that she would swallow the packaging with the food. I told Patrick this after I left the room "my heart grew 3 sizes that day" (Grinch reference). We signed the papers right then and brought her home shortly after.

That was June of 2022. The last 2.5 years were filled with so much love that I
could barely contain it. Angel was incredibly smart, having learned a neat trick to get her treats, and could easily get through a puzzle feeder. If she was on my lap late at night and I shut off the TV (my indication that it was time for bed) she would immediately meow-complain and jump off my lap without prompting. She was so softies, her eyes were the most gorgeous blue you would ever see. We bonded so quickly I didn't even realize it. She trusted me 100%, and she was so chill that I could basically do anything to her and she would tolerate it. Brushing teeth, clipping nails, shaving her butt to help with poops. We even had to wash her in the tub a couple of times and although she disliked it immensely, she would let us do it.

She loved to hang out under the bed covers with us. She would often put her paw over your arm and pull it closer to her. She loved her lap time, and loved my lap the most. When I got home from work I would often see her laying in my spot on the couch waiting for me. I would always say "I see a pretty girl." and I would pick her up and giver her hugs.

The vet found a small nodule on an u/s in mid-November, and the biopsy came back as simply "necrotic tissue", which in and of itself is certainly not great, but it also wasn't deemed cancer, so we went for conservative management with steroids and special foods to reduce the inflammation in her pancreas and large intestine. It was supposed to last for 3 months, but she started to deteriorate after only 1. She began to reject eating almost anything we were giving her, including the special hydrolyzed protein diet. They did another u/s... the mass had grown. And now she had a nodule on her side that we could feel as well.

At that point I knew... biopsy or not... she had pancreatic cancer. We were still hopeful that it might be localized, however, and maybe it could be removed. But we kept getting blow after blow. The nodule on her side came back with "necrotic tissue" so again, no definitive answer there. And the mass... it was butting up against her biliary duct. It wouldn't be able to be 100% removed with clear margins no matter what, but we wanted to try and see how much time we could give our sweet Angel so we scheduled her for surgery.

The news from the surgeon was the most devastating. There were masses all over her pancreas and abdominal cavity. There was nothing he could do. But she was waking up from the anesthesia and we could go see her. We had to have an extremely hard discussion. Angel had maybe weeks left. And she also had weeks of recovery from surgery ahead of her. We had to decide if it was even worth taking her home. Believe me, I wanted to. I wanted to so badly it hurt. But the last few days prior to her surgery were fraught with pain and issues and was not a good time for her. I had to take her to the closest animal ER on Friday night because she had been vomiting, having diarrhea, lethargy and was in obvious pain; surgery wasn't scheduled until Tuesday and I wasn't even sure she would make it that long. She would only eat about 5oz of wet food a day, which is about 5oz less than what she should be eating. We had to try to feed her every couple of hours this Nulo Silky Mousse that came in a pouch, and she would only eat it straight from the pouch like a churu treat, but not very much at a time. We were force feeding her liquid nutrients and cerenia (anti-nausea) medication. After she got the pain medication from the ER she began to do better, and we only had one scare on Sunday morning where we thought she was actively dying. We made an appointment for home euthanasia on Monday, but then out of some miracle she got up and began drinking water. The pain medication had finally caught up to her pain and we could keep it at bay. She was 95% our Angel again. She would do lap time, a little play time, and cuddle sessions. But her eating had not gotten better, and we were losing trust every time we had to gang up on her and give her medication.

The pain medication gave us something special - an almost 2 full days of our beloved kitty, and some of the best memories I could ever hope for. But we knew that if we brought her home, this blessing would be short lived. It would only mask her problems, and she would continue to rapidly deteriorate, and we would have to go through this all over again. I wanted to keep those happy memories; I didn't want them to be replaced with her suffering. I hated that decision. And I still feel incredibly guilty for making it. I wanted to bring her home and force more good memories, but that decision was selfish. Prolonging her life and her suffering was selfish. We decided that it was best that before she was fully awake from anesthesia that we would put her down. I hate it. I hate it so much!!! She didn't know what was happening, she was so confused after waking up from surgery. But she sniffed us, and recognized our voices. And we spent a good hour with her just soothing her with our pets and voices before we made the call.

Coming home to an empty house every day makes my heart break. Not seeing her on my cushion kills me. Not having her sitting in front of me while soaking up the heater at my feet is destroying me. The look of love and trust in her eyes as she gazed up at me is burned into my brain forever.

Angel was the sweetest girl you could ever hope to meet. She was the most amazing animal and I don't regret bringing her into our lives. She was cared for an loved unconditionally, and she returned that love with vigor. She didn't deserve this.

This was the second time we've lost an animal to cancer. I just don't know if I could ever do it again. The pain is insurmountable. Angel was my sweet baby girl. I love you sweetheart, and I miss you with every fiber of my being. Maybe I'll see you again some day... across the rainbow bridge.