Puyallup Fair. End of argument.
I haven't been to this fair since 2015. I find no reason to go every year, especially since admission is $11, parking is $15-$20, and I spend all my energy weaving through the mass of humanity to the point where I get tired of existing. I don't play the games, and I'm not into any of the rides.
But this year, it was a bit different. This year, there was a concert that I wanted to see: Gabriel Iglesias, aka Fluffy.
I'll give credit where credit is due: my best friend Matty introduced me to Fluffy years ago with a Netflix special, and I've been pretty hooked ever since. He's one of those comedians that doesn't need to be vulgar and cuss every other word in order to be funny. He's a great storyteller, and uses his own life experiences to make jokes.
Buying a ticket to his comedy special came with a fair ticket, so I invited mom to come with me and hang out until the concert started at 7:30. This was gonna be a no-holds-bar fair experience. There were certain foods I wanted to try, and one particular ride I wanted to go on: The Extreme Scream. Why? I don't even know. I keep trying to do extreme stuff hoping to feel that "rush" that thrill seekers get when they do crazy stuff, but it never happens for me. I've done parasailing, zip lining, and a few tamer fair rides from years past, but all I ended up feeling was
A. Annoyed that the view went by too quickly,
B. It was fun for the first [5] minutes but now I'm over it and
C. Shit, get me out of here.
(To be fair, zip lining only garnered feeling A)
So of course that ride (which costs $15) came first, before I decided to eat. And no, it was not fun, and not exciting. I wasn't scared while watching it from the ground, but once I was on it my heart rate picked up a bit. I've known this already but fun fact: I am definitely not a screamer. I did however, say "Oh shit" on my way up. And going back down was not at all pleasant due to the weightless feeling as I plummeted towards the earth. That ride is thankfully extremely short, and I couldn't be happier when it was finally over. My adrenaline had spiked, that was a fact. But instead of feeling a sense of joy or a rush, my body was shaking and I was breathing way too hard. I had tried to quickly teach mom how to record using my phone before I went on but um, come to find out that didn't work so I have nothing to show for my experience but the loud hydraulic whoosh sound that will now forever haunt my dreams. So, I think that finally settled it. I'm not an adrenaline junkie and I'm done trying to chase that feeling that others seem to get when they do crazy stuff. It's just not for me.
In other news, though, trying weird foods is quite fun and something I won't stop doing any time soon. So, the first thing on my agenda was 40 Below Joe's coffee Dippin Dots. As you're probably aware (maybe from all the news articles explaining how liquid nitrogen is unsafe for the tissues in your mouth due to the new fad called "Dragon's Breath") Dippin Dots are small bit of ice cream frozen with liquid nitrogen. And coffee dippin dots are just that: a frozen latte. It was really good. The problem with dippin dots is that when something is chilled that low, the compounds become fairly flavorless to the tongue, so there wasn't much to it. But it was a nice novelty, and one with more than 1 shot of caffeine ta boot.
Next on my list was The Original House of Doughnuts. Nothing special here; I've had their doughnuts and they are simply the best around, save for Voodoo down in Oregon. Which brings me to why I wanted to go: They were serving a cereal doughnut. This is the best thing about Voodoo. They have cereal-topped doughnuts with icing that tastes like milk. Would OHD give me the same satisfaction as Voodoo?
Hell yes it does. A valid replacement for a doughnut shop too far away.
Mom and I did do some exploring around the fair, but she had already gone with her sister at the beginning of the month for the Chicago concert, so she'd seen it all already. We walked around Hobby Land, checked out the ducks and chickens, but not much else. There was one other place I wanted to try though, despite the fact that Extreme Scream basically soured my stomach for the whole day. Exotic Meats.
Yeah that's right, I'm turning into an Andrew Zimmern mini (Not really. The stuff he puts in his mouth is disgusting). First on my list was a snack of crickets. Hey, I'm a logical person. I've seen video of people talking about how crickets (and other insects) are a great source of protein with no fat. And how they don't taste bad once cooked. They're a great and easy renewable resource, and if we're not careful, humanity is going to be forced to turn to this food source one day just to stay alive. So, crickets.
I'm not sure why I decided on them over grasshoppers. I didn't remember that they looked like baby roaches. It did take me a second to psych myself up to eating one. (This is the kind of thrill *I* like!) But, here's the truth. They only taste like the seasoning that was used. And it was a good seasoning. They tasted hollow and crunchy. There was no substance to them. I ate the whole batch, but I certainly didn't look at them as I did so. I'm glad that I tried them!
After that, Mom and I went walked around some more and we came back to Exotic Meats for my dinner before the show. Originally, I had wanted to eat an alligator burger, but it was $16, and I'd already had alligator a couple years back at the Taste of Tacoma (it was fried on a stick, and I'm not joking, it tasted *exactly* like chicken. I think they used chicken and I got duped.) Plus I was not that hungry. I did see something else they had that wasn't specifically on their menu, though. Rabbit and Python sausage. I was like, sure, why not. Python sounds tasty. Plus it was $6 cheaper. It was boiled and not grilled which was slightly disappointing. It kind of just tasted like it needed ketchup. Sometimes I wonder if people that sell exotic meats or exotic jerky are just a long con and have been duping all of us since forever. It's not like we can prove that there's really any python in that sausage, you know?
Anyway, by this time they were opening the Grandstand for the show, so we went and got scones for the road and I grabbed my blanket and fancy folding chair out of mom's car. She drove home and I had the plan to take the fair bus back at the end of the concert.
I didn't know what to expect for this comedy tour experience. I'd seen Fluffy's Netflix specials so how different could this be? Well for one, comedians take from their environment and use it to craft jokes. So, we got jokes about coffee, how cold it was, and how to say "Puyallup" (Pew-all-up.), And he spent quite a while joking with (not at) the sign language interpreter. I'd had one at Alton Brown's tour as well and I thought they were always at events just in case they were needed but turns out [they're not] Gabriel rarely sees them so he had a field day making them sign stuff, including curse words that he was contractually obligated not to say because it was a "family event".
Near the end of the show he turned to a couple of old but good jokes, which was actually kind of fun because all these guys - over 10,000 (the only show bigger was Macklemore, sorry Mom/Chicago) knew them by heart and actually said them right along with him.
Even if you know the joke, watch it
until the end. We were given permission
to film at the end because he's a cool dude.
It was a great experience. I'm glad that I went. Gabriel Iglesias is a very down to earth kind of guy. He's very appreciative of everyone and everything, and doesn't let fame go to his head at all. I am super excited to see this new sitcom he's apparently got in the works!
So, that was it. Ride a crazy ride, eat some crazy food, watch a crazy Mexican make jokes, and go home!
